Monday Morning Muse

Culture Clash

The air in our backyard is filled with sweet perfume wafting from the orange trees. The magnolia tree has begun to bloom its magnificent deep purple flowers. The sun is shining and the temperature has been hovering around 80 degrees and it's still February. Kind of makes me feel sorry for the poor saps back East but then they pity us because they believe we're all pool lounging margarita drinking movie execs. But that's besides the point.

We enjoy our lovely backyard complete with pool, swingset, and playhouse. It's large enough to set up a volleyball net and have a match. And, until recently, the large oleander bushes that lined our back wall have offered us some measure of privacy from our bordering neighbors. I would even venture to say that they might have helped to muffle the frequent yelling noises that often eminate from our abode.

But there was trouble in paradise. The oleander plants began to wither and die. What could be the culprit, we wondered. These are the plants which used to be used to line the freeways. Not really a delicate variety and very drought resistant. All we ever had to do to them was cut down the overgrowth about once a year.

Upon further examination my husband noted that the plants were infested with a parasitic beetle of some unknown origin. Not knowing how to combat the infestation, and realizing that the plants were at a terminal point, he decided to cut them way back.

Now that's easier said than done since we have about six of them which reach up to the telephone wires. Wanting to get the job done right, he asked our gardener if he would like to earn some extra cash. The gardener told my husband that he would be happy to do the job a week from the following Wednesday for $200.00. All was agreed and I was impressed that the two were able to make arrangements and talk money with neither speaking the other's language.

During the week, after paying many bills, my husband was pondering the upcoming extra charge for the trimming of the oleander plants and began thinking that $200.00 was a pretty penny to pay if it were just going to be the gardener coming by himself to work for four hours or so. Unfortunately, when the gardener came on Saturday, my husband couldn't be home to discuss his concerns as he was taking our son to a basketball tournament. He asked if I would do the honors.

Shortly after my husband left, the gardener arrived. I met him in the backyard and in my best Spanglesh, attempted to communicate my husband's concerns. Boy was I ever in for a surprise. After reiterating the agreed upon cost and asking how many laborers would be doing the job and how long it might take, the gardener exclaimed, "Nobody wants to pay anymore!!!!! I've been cutting your lawn for five years now and I've never asked for a raise. And last year at Christmas, your husband gave me a $40.00 bonus. This year it was only $20.00! You know, the cost of living goes up three to four percent a year, and still no raise for me! I used to have two guys working for me. Now I only have one. I used to pay him $50.00 for the day. Now I pay him $80.00! My lawn mower broke last week and I had to have it repaired. The cost of gas has gone up. This job is going to be a lot of work and I won't do it for less than $200.00. It will be myself and one other worker and the job will take around five hours to complete and I will have to pay the dump fee. If you don't want to accept my terms call me so that I can schedule another job for that day."

Whoa Nelly! Wait a minute here. I had no idea our gardener was harboring so much resentment towards us. Wow. I felt really bad. He had made some pretty good points. It was true that he had been faithfully cutting our grass for the past five years sans a raise. But were we supposed to automatically give him a raise? In my best Spanish I attempted to explain that if he needed a raise, then it would be a good idea to state it on the bill and that he should do that for any other long time clients that he has. I guess at a regular job you don't ask for a raise. You have a review at the end of the year and it is then determined whether or not you get one. Were we supposed to arrange such a meeting?

I thought it was a bit on the nervy side to mention the Christmas bonus. Does everyone lump their gardeners with a Christmas bonus? I asked a few friends and some said that they give a gift basket and some said that they don't do anything extra.

Well, one thing I learned is don't start giving if you can't continue. Or, start real small and keep it the same. I could tell that our gardener was deeply offended by the reduction in his end of the year bonus. He probably was counting on that cash and wondered why he received less of a bonus for the same job done. I could completely understand his dismay. Again, in Spanglish, I attempted to explain to him that it wasn't personal at all, that my husband's income has also been cut in half and he had received no bonus even though he had worked just as hard as ever. That we have to be extra careful at this time and that pretty soon, those boys of ours will probably be cutting the lawn.

We left it that he would still come to do the job on Wednesday unless he received a call from my husband stating otherwise. When my husband returned home from the basketball tournament I apprised him of the situation. It at least offered an explanation as to why the gardener had been unfriendly as of late. But wanting to discuss that matter further and to explain that the dump would not be necessary, my husband later phoned the gardener and left a message to that effect.

Wednesday came and went and the gardener did not come to do the job. We received no telephone call. But the following Saturday the gardener arrived at his regular time to cut our lawn. Fortunately, my husband was home and they had a chat. It was determined that my husband would act as the gardener's laborer and that they would do the job together the next day and that they would take the cuttings to a free dump offered by the recycling center.

So all is well that ends well or so the saying goes. The gardener came the next morning and the kids helped carry bushes to the old truck and I made burritos and taquitos for everyone. Since there were no dumping fees and my husband was "the laborer" the fee dropped to $120.00 and everyone was happy. That is until the next morning when my husband realized that he had strained his back and wouldn't be able to bicycle into work as he always does on Mondays. And then had to spend several hours at the Chiropractor's. The job would have been well worth the $200.00 requested. But at least the gardener and my husband have a renewed respect for one another.

The moral of the story is: If you like your gardener, give him a raise every couple of years without being asked. Never decrease a bonus without an explanation. And saving $80.00 isn't worth straining your back.