Monday Morning Muse

The More Things change, The More They Stay The Same?

Well it certainly is August isn't it? I can't believe that it took me 41 years to finally question what sort of creature the lovely tomato caterpillar morphs into. Most of us have had the opportunity to have varying contact with these, bugs, if you will. They seem to come from nowhere, with the sole purpose of devouring our home grown tomato plants. They're not so easy to spot as nature did a great job with their camouflage costume, but if one happens to fall off of the plant and onto the soil... WOW. It's enough to scare the bejeepers out of you. My now nine year old son is an aspiring entomologist and his auntie was kind enough to capture four of these bugs from her garden, place them in a shoe box along with some leaves, and bring them to our house for his perusal. I almost had to decimate our lone tomato plant to keep them going! (We had one plant that survived all winter long and is still producing.) I placed the bugs into a bona fide clear plastic cage so we could watch them gorge themselves and monitor their progress. Upon inspection, it occurred to me that they did indeed resemble caterpillars as opposed to the worms I had previously thought them to be. Well, heck, if they were caterpillars I thought, what the heck kind of flying insect might they turn into? That was a job for my oldest boy. I gave him the assignment to look it up on the internet while I was cooking the spaghetti. In about two minutes he was at my side urging me to come and see what he had found out. There, on my screen, was a lovely photograph of the tomato bug and brief article describing its metamorphosis into the Sphinx Moth. Wow. I remember seeing plenty of these moths growing up in Diamond Bar. We had a pool and as I recall, they seemed to visit our pool area in the summer evenings. A couple of times they accidentally got into our house upsetting the tranquility of our evening leisure until captured and set free. I never would have guessed that those huge moths originated from tomato bugs. It makes me wonder how many other things that I come into contact with on a daily basis, I am blatantly unaware of....

Two of the caterpillars have made their chrysalis and are currently morphing into moths. What a sight to behold. In my frenzy of working two part-time jobs, managing a house full of sweeties, and attempting to wash their clothes and make intelligent conversation when my better half comes home from work, it brings me comfort to know that creatures exist with the only requirement of eating until they can sleep for several months only to awaken and fly away into the moonlight.

Great New Drugs for women!!

D A M I T O L: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go
to hell for up to 8 hours.

St. M O M 'S W O R T: Plant extract that treats mom's
depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for
up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N: Highly effective
suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing
the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how
you couldn't wait till they moved out.

D U M E R O L: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of loud country
western music and cheap beer.

F L I P I T O R: Increases life expectancy of
commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to
flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N: Potent anti-boy-otic for older
women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You
make me want to be a better person ... can we get
naked now?"

B U Y- A G R A: Injectable stimulant to be taken prior
to shopping. Increases potency and duration of
spending spree.

EXTRA STRENGTH BUY-ONE-AL: When combined with
Buy-agra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
severe the victim may even come home with a book by
Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N: Relieves headache caused by a
man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or
phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T: A spray carried in a
purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N: More effective than Excedrin in
treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache,"
syndrome.

R A G A M E T: When administered to a husband,
provides the same irritation as nagging on him all
weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing
it herself.

P E P T O B I M B O: Liquid silicone for single women.
Two full cups swallowed before an evening out
increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
improves flirting.

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M
A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you
rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter
only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

***

This was written by a black guy in Texas.....so funny.....what a
great sense of humor and creativity!!!

When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I
black, when I cold, I black, when I scared, I black, when I sick, I black, and when I die, I still black.

You white folks....when you born, you pink, when you grow up, you white, when you go in sun, you red, when you cold, you blue, when you scared, you yellow, when you sick, you green, when you bruised, you purple, and when you die, you gray.

So who you are callin' colored folk's ???