Be Still My Beating Heart

I've always loved Valentine's Day. The Victorian art. Doilies and such. Flowers and festive foil wrapped chocolates. Heart shaped tins. Fine red wine and won't thou be mine? Poetry. So sweet- both literally and figuratively. A special day set aside to attempt to express our love for one another.

If anyone needs to get a jump-start on the Valentine Vibe- may I suggest a few movies? Paper Heart. Leap Year. And one book- Awakenings, by Mark Nepo. So inspiring.

So what does Love got to do with it? What's Love but a second hand emotion.... wait- that's Tina Turner's cynical view. I asked my kids for their definitions and just now, my husband. They were all over the map. My dear friend suggested I take all the definitions, write the opposite, and place their names under just for fun. I daren't do dat! But I "Loved" that idea. Got to musing on Love. Just what is it? How can one attempt to define it? Urban dictionary had some good ones: "Love is nature's way of tricking us into reproducing." But that's just but one aspect of Love. "Words make love on the page like flies in the summer heat, and the poet is only the bemused spectator." - Charles Simic

Yep- writing about love ain't no easy task. It's bringing on blogger's block. Love encompasses so much. In English we use the word Love to convey attraction, lust, appreciation, enjoyment, attachment, approval, affection, satisfaction, commitment...... It is interesting to ponder that here, in California at least, we can love ice-cream, our dogs, our significant others, our weather, television shows, our phones, the internet, vacation spots, books, music, the list is endless. But since Valentne's Day is approaching, I want to focus on Romantic Love. Romeo and Juliet style. It is so difficult to put into words. But we certainly know when we are experiencing it. That suck the breath out of you wobbly kneed racing heart light headed feeling. The sense that all is right with the world when you are with the one you love. When you can't help but bring their name into every conversation. When you just want to be together constantly and discuss every idea and share every meal. That's the infatuation part. Then it gradually moves into trust, admiration, respect and commitment

I can remember my first crush on a neighbor boy. I just wanted to look at him shooting baskets and admire. I don't think I ever told anyone, and he certainly never knew. Then the crushes on boys at school- never had the nerve to let any of those boys know I was interested. Better to wonder if than to ask and risk rejection. It's amazing I ever dated at all. Fortunately, I had two older brothers who brought home fine young lads for me to choose from.

Young love is so tender and innocent. My first serious boyfriend was my oldest brother's best friend. We all spent a lot of time together- my brother was so cool that way... always letting little sis tag along... and I can still remember the night when my boyfriend to be asked me if I would like to join him for the ice-cream run. So exciting- going to 7-11 for ice-cream sandwiches. I think that was the night he kissed me. Now that I think about it, that was quite a daring move for him to make. I wasn't even expecting it. It was late, people were leaving our house, an he gave me a peck on the cheek right in front of everyone. I was mesmerized. He was going through a rough time at home with alcoholic parents going through a divorce, and he spent a good deal of time at our house enjoying my mom's meatball soup and chocolate chip cookies. I was a Freshman and he was a Senior so we never did go to any of the school dances or formals. We chose the Pink Floyd concert over his prom. We probably had more fun. He moved away when I went into 10th grade, and I didn't date any other high school boys after that. I never had the nerve to approach anyone I was interested in, and no one had the nerve to approach me. I had a nice circle of friends and enjoyed my Junior and Senior years as a single gal.

After that first heartbreak, I didn't think I would ever fall in love again. For me, that first love was like falling- no way to stop it, exciting, very risky with a good chance of getting hurt. After that the guard went up. No one was ever going to know all of my secrets again. No one would have my trust to that degree. I didn't date until a couple years later. Had my heart broken again, but I knew the drill. I dated a few toads and then went through another long spell of being more single than single. I resigned myself to accepting that there just might not be another person on this planet for me to love and be loved by. I was surrounded by people all the time working in a hip restaurant and attending college. Going out dancing at the Red Onion and gadding about with my friends. Didn't any of my friends have a nice brother? Nope.

I focused on my school work and saving enough money to go to Egypt as I had always wanted to go there. (the current state of affairs breaks my heart) and forgot about dating. Then, as fate would have it, one of the gals I worked with set me up on a blind date with the man I would later marry. How did I know he was "the one?" I don't know how I knew. I just knew. He had all of the traits I had on my mental requirement list. Like he was made to order. We could talk for hours without getting bored. We watched Phil Donahue together while snacking on Chex Mix. Come to think of it now, he was also pretty daring with that first kiss. We went to see a movie, and he held my hand during the movie- so sweet. The kiss came a bit later. Then all the dates to get to know each other. So much to talk about. Everything he said was so interesting or funny.

We have built our lives together. We are in it for the long haul. There aren't many movie nights and hand holding events these days, but our love endures. It's all the little things that add up- he puts gas in my car and I pack his lunches. He's the first one I want to talk to when something is on my mind. I trust him. I can depend on him. He barbecues a mean steak and has good taste in red wine. We don't always agree on the little things, but we are on the same page for the important matters. Some say love is a state of mind. But to me, it is much more, it is all of the day by day little things we go through on our life long journey together. Each adding a bit to the entire experience, until it grows into such a big thing, with so much shared past and hope for what the future will bring. Yes, the weak knees and palpitations were fun in the beginning, but the continual growing together is to me what love has got to do with it.

I am picking an easier topic next month!

Happy Valentine's Day from Jewel.

Yogi- again- no new recipe!!! I've been doing a lot of shrimp salads with lite mayo and barbecue spice. Yum.

More Quotes:

The couple who understands that their union is for Someone greater than the two of them has discovered the secret gate to marriage at its best.-Charlie W. Shedd

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Love cannot remain by itself - it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action and that action is service.- Mother Teresa

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Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

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A kiss without a moustache is like and egg without salt.- Spanish Saying

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A light wife doth make a heavy husband.- William Shakespeare

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Most like an arch - two weaknesses that elan into a strength. Two fallings become firm.- John Ciardi

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Avoid wine and women- choose a freckle-faced girl for a wife, they are invariably more amiable.- Sir William Osler

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A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness. But after that he begins to bunch them.- H. L. Mencken

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Of all the girls that are so smart, there's none like pretty Sally; She is the darling of my heart, and she lives in our alley... My master and the neighbours all, make game of me and Sally, And, but for her, I'd better be, a slave and row a galley; But when my seven long years are out, O, then I'll marry Sally; O, then we'll wed, and then we'll bed, But not in our alley.- Henry Carey, 1715

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What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow. - Irish Proverb

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Come live with me and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove, That hills and valleys, dale and field, And all the craggy mountains yield.- Christopher Marlowe

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More than a year has passed since you and I parted in grief and tears. Today at last a letter came, one tiny narrow sheet. Tonight I've lit my lamp a hundred times to read its words of peace. - Lin I Ning

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If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. If ever wife was happy in a man, Compare with me, ye women, If you can - Ann Bradstreet

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The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them. There ought to be as many for love.- Margaret Atwood

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The first stage is to believe that there is only one kind of love. The middle stage is to believe that there are many kinds of love and that the Greeks had a different word for each of them. The last stage is to believe that there is only one kind of love.- Frederick Buechner

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No cord nor cable can so forcibly draw, or hold so fast, as love can do with a twined thread.- Robert Burton

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Give me, next good, an understanding wife. By nature wise, not learned much by art; Some knowledge on her part will, all her life, More scope of conversation impart. - Sir Thomas Overbury

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Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.- John D. Macdonald

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The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money- Joey Adams

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An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.- Agatha Christie

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Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.- Lao-Tzu

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The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.- Bertrand Russel

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Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage.- Ambrose Bierce

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Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.- P.D. East

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If we seek the pleasures of love, passion should be occasional, and common sense continual.- Robertson Davies

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A wedding is the greatest place for folks to go and learn. He thought that she was his'n but found that she was her'n. -Cowboy Wedding Toast

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How swift is your departure, how slow your coming home! Let's drink deeply of the good warm wine, And drown the years between!- Su Ch'An I, 600 A.D.

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Madame, it is an old word and each one takes it new and wears it out himself. - Ernest Hemmingway

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After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.- Mark Twain

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The wine of Love is music, and the feast of Love is song; and when Love sits down to the banquet, Love sits long.- James Thompson

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Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind will blow out a candle, and blow in a fire.- Duc De La Rochefoucauld

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Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her. - Helen Rowland

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Next Post date: March 7, 2011
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February 7, 2011

Quotes:

Only little boys and old men sneer at love.- Louis Auchincloss

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People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.- Douglass Yates

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Take away love and our Earth is a tomb.- Robert Browning

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Money can't buy love but it improves your bargaining position.- Laurence J. Peter

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Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures.- Samuel Johnson

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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.- H.I. Mencken

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Love, and a cough, cannot be hid.- George Herbert

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The great secret of successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.- Harold Nicholson

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Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.- Harlan Miller

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A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.- Olin Miller

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Love is most nearly itself when here and now cease to matter.- T.S. Eliot

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Love will make you forget time and time will make you forget love.- Gordon Livingston

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WE know the truth not only by reason, but by the heart.- Blaise Pascal

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He imagined that he was in love with her, whereas I think she did the imagining for him.- Mark Twain

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Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dew-drops are waiting for thee; Sounds of the rude world heard in the day, Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away!...- Stephen Foster

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Cut some windows in your selfishness. You must do this not only to let the sun in but to let your eyes look out.- Charlie W. Shedd

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Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are proceeded by a long courtship.- Joseph Addison

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Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. - Francis Bacon

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We can do no great things - only small things with great love.- Mother Teresa

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The commitment of love ... has to be a permanent thing, a life-wager.... Effective love is not like the retractable point on a ballpoint pen.- John Powell

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There is in man's nature, a secret inclination and motion, towards love of others, which if it be not spent upon some one or a few, doth naturally spread itself towards many, and maketh men become humane and charitable; as it is seen sometimes in friars.- Francis Bacon

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Each divorce is the death of a small civilization.- Pat Conroy

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Love is grand. Marriage lasts longer.- Wes Smith

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Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.- Mae West

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Other men's wives are always the best.- Chinese Proverb

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The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.- John Barrymore

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Drink to me only with thine eyes, and I will pledge with mine. Or leave a kiss within the cup, and Ill not ask for wine.- Ben Jonson

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Ideas are easier to love than people.- Gordon Livingston

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Love this miraculous world that we did not make, that is a gift to us.- Wendall Berry

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There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. - John Erskine

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Love is generally understood to be a tendency of some sort. - Robert G. Hazo

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Verily the best of women are those who are content with little.- Mohammed

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To live is like love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.- Samuel Butler

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.- Phylllis Diller

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Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.- Proverbs 15:17

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Forget not that no fellow-being yet may fall so low but love may lift his head.- James Whitcomb Riley

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Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.- Helen Rowland

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Love your neighbors - not the neighbors you pick out, but the ones you have.- Wendall Berry

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A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.- MIgnon Mclaughlin

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