Dear Dad

Let me begin with I Love You. I don't say it often, but I think it all the time. From you I got my brown eyes and hair, olive complexion, love of salty foods, big calves and crass sense of humor. But dad, you gave me so much more. So where should I begin?

When I think of the perfect dad, you come to mind. You set a wonderful example for us by working hard and being responsible thus providing us with a wonderful and secure upbringing. We thought you were invincible and you were. I remember hanging off of your outstretched arm like a little monkey and you tightening your abs and daring us to hit you with our best shot, and you never flinched. Also the staring contests. I don't think I ever beat you at that as you would flash the monkey face, and I would burst out laughing. Silly times. Happy times.

You were a very involved daddy. I struggled with directions as a child as I continue to as an adult, and it fell upon you to teach me how to tie my shoes. I just could not get it. It was too much over and under and around and through. It seemed nearly impossible for me to learn, and you tried this way and that to show me the steps. I remember crying and wanting to give up, and then you told me how easy it really was, "See? I can even do it with my eyes closed! " And you did, and I was amazed. I was sure you were some sort of magician, and this was just the inspiration I needed to give it another shot. We must have succeeded because I went on to learn how to macrame and teach my children how to tie their shoes.

Now that I think back on it I believe you were prepping me for Kindergarten because I also remember your drilling me on writing my name. I could do it, but that damn "e" often came through backwards. Over and over we drilled, and no one could understand my odd technique of writing the letter "e" from the bottom up. We ended up breaking and chunking and working just on the letter "e" with green crayon as green was my favorite color. I remember the great success of writing out an entire page of green "e's". When it came time to learn how to bounce a ball we had to give up, but they let me in anyhow.

You were always very alert and protective and most of all present! I will always remember our trip to the zoo when I was about five. You must have been giving mom some much deserved quiet time, as it was just you, my brothers and I who went. We were at the Aviary watching the birds as they were my favorite animal at the time. There appeared to be a crow, who was trying to infiltrate into the enclosure, and we were watching it when suddenly a blap of bird crap landed smack on the top of my head! I started crying and furiously jumping up and down in circles. My big brothers nearly fainted for lack of breath they were laughing so hard. But you whipped out a handkerchief ( do you still carry one?) and whisked me to the drinking fountain and quickly washed it out so that we could continue with our zoo adventure. I later found out that it is considered to be good luck to be shat upon by a bird. It has happened to me 4 times!!!

We had great family times. We often went for walks after dinner, and I would be amazed that we would take one route out and a completely different route home. Another magic trick. We spent a lot of time outdoors including the camping trips. I remember one trip in particular when we attempted to go backpacking. I am not sure where it was, but it was beautiful. We were in the woods along a small river, and there was no one around except for some Japanese campers across the way. There were golden leaves on the ground and we were shaded by the trees. Everyone was outfitted with their pack, and you got to carry the tent which wasn't one of the lightweight ones either! Your pack was huge making you resemble an ant carrying a large supply back to the nest. I thought I was going to die. For someone who complained about having to carry their lunch box and sweater home from school, the backpack was just too much. I was at the end of the line, lagging and dragging and whining. You kept cheerfully telling me to "ring up the rear!" and it was overwhelming. Finally you offered to relieve me of my pack carrying duties and somehow added my pack to yours. I felt like a bird set free. I began to run giving absolutely no thought to how you must have felt carrying all of that weight! Another magic trick. Now walking is one of my favorite pastimes. I feel cheated if I do not get at least 20 minutes a day to go out and gather my thoughts.

Then there was the time when we were celebrating the 4th of July in our front yard. I must have been up past bedtime as I was proud to be wearing my new flannel pajamas. In my child mind, they were indestructible as, though I tried, I could not tear them. I decided to test their strength to see if they would burn, and I purposely set them on fire right at the spot of my belly button! I don't know how you saw it so quickly, but the next thing I knew was that I was being rolled in a pile of dirt! The fire was out, the pajamas were ruined, and I had not a single burn. Another magic trick. I was always so proud to tell my friends that my dad was a fireman. You looked so handsome in your uniform with the badge.

Your quick reflexes saved me from countless perils as I was always trying to keep up with my two big brothers and often couldn't. When we moved to Diamond Bar you invested in some minibikes ( do they even make those anymore? ). We lived on a pretty quiet residential street and my brothers would occasionally ride them up and down the street even though we were not supposed to. John decided it was time I learned to ride solo, and I was slowly making my way down the street. You were proudly watching until you saw that I was headed right towards your 52 Chevy Pickup. You shouted for me to turn, but I hadn't masted that yet, nor had I mastered the minor detail of stopping!! Somehow, you lifted me off of the moving mini, and it proceeded to crash into the right rear fender of your truck! Again, I escaped without a scratch! Another magic trick. We decided I was not cut out to ride minibikes after that, and I was okay with it.

I am not sure which birthday it was, but I think it was around my twelfth. You were cooking a special dinner which I had never eaten before. I asked what you were preparing, and I remember your saying that I would surely love it. Well it was lasagne, and I did! It was like eating pure pizza toppings without the boring bread crust. You would come home from the fire station with interesting recipes but my favorite was the smoked beef jerky you used to make. I have never had anything to compare to it either before or since. It was so good that you made extra around the holidays to give as gifts. Your grandkids would go gaga for it.

And when I turned 16, you bought me a gold bracelet and took me out for a fancy seafood feast. I can't remember the restaurant, but after dinner we were able to walk along the rocks and look at the crabs scurrying along. It was a good choice because I love the beach. One time you ate a live sand crab just to see the shock on our faces. That was waaaaaay before Fear Factor on TV. You could have been a contestant.

When I had my first boyfriend, you knew he was not the one for me. Though he was very nice, he lacked direction, and in your fatherly wisdom you could see that. I'll always remember that afternoon when the three of us were in the kitchen, and much to my horror, you were encouraging him to join the Military. You had the Yellow Pages out and phone in hand. Looking back, it probably would have been the best thing for him. He ended up deserting me my Junior year to move to Oregon where in a drunken stupor he hit a deer, was thrown from his car and broke his back. He moved home after that and we tried to rekindle our relationship but it never healed. I went a long time with no boyfriends after that. When you met the man I would marry, you knew it before I did! You took one look at him, walked up, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Let me know the date son, and I will get my checkbook ready!" Dad, you almost scared him away though via a completely different tactic! Good thing you did not because our 25th is on the horizon. At the wedding you placed bets on when to expect grandkids. We made good on your prospect and provided you with four- beginning with twins! That was our magic trick.

Yes, so many magical memories, and I want to be sure you know that I cherish them. And I cherish each moment we spend together. You helped to shape me into the person I am today, and I will forever be grateful!

Happy Father's Day!

Recipe

Savory Shortbread

Ingredients:

1 stick (4 ounces ) unsalted butter, room temperature

3 ounces grated Parmesean

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/2 teaspoon chopped Fresh thyme leaves

1/2 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon water

Instructions:

1. Mix butter until creamy.

2. Add parmesean, salt, pepper, herbs and flour one at a time until evenly combined.

3. Add 1 tablespoon of water to help bring the dough together.

4. roll the dough into a log,cover with plastic wrap and chill until firm ( 30 min)

5. Preheat oven toe 350 degrees F.

6. Slice the dough into 1/4 inch rounds

7. Place on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and cook approximately 22-25 minutes.

Catalina Madalina

* my daddy used to chant this to me to make me laugh! I would love to find out how it originated.

Written by Unknown Copyright Unknown

There was a funny girl, she had a funny name
She got it from her pappy just the same, same, same.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

She had two hairs on the top of her head
One was alive and the other was dead.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

She had two eyes in the front of her head
One was green and the other was red.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

She had two teeth in the front of her mouth
One pointed north and the other pointed south.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

She had two lips, two beautiful lips,
Shaped just like two battleships.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

Her nose was so long that when she sneezed
It got caught in between her knees.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

Her ears stuck out like the sails of a boat
Her Adam’s apple wandered up and down her throat.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

She loved to polish her fingernails
She bought her polish in ten gallon pails.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

The language that she spoke was an awful joke
Her head was made out of solid oak
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

Her feet were flat as bathroom mats
I forgot to ask how they got like that.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

A ten ton truck hit our Madaline
That was the end of that machine.
Catalina Madalina, Hoopin Stina, Walla dina
Oaka, Poka, Loka was her name.

***

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”

***

A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were. “Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…” “Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him. “ …Which bus would I take home?”

***

A man and his eldest son went to have their photographs taken together, and the photographer said to the young man, “It will make a better picture if you put your hand on your father’s shoulder.” “H’m,” said the father, “it would make a more natural picture if he put it in my pocket.

***

Yes, sir, our household represents the United Kingdom of Great Britain,” said the proud father of number one to the rector. “I am English, my wife’s Irish, the nurse is Scotch and the baby wails.

***

What did the Buffalo say to his son?… Bye-son

***

A Father’s Day book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.

***

What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?…A POPsicle!

***

What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?…Spook when you’re spooken to!

***

Why do fathers who golf take an extra pair of socks?…In case they get a hole in one!

***

Boy: I have a lot of my dad’s genes. Friend: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

***

My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it’s always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!

***

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland

***

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You’re tearing up the grass." "We’re not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We’re raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew

***

One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

***

Father! — to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth

***

Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland

***

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

***

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller

***

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown

***

Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown. ~Author Unknown

***

There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

***

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

***

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller

***

Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

***

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown

***

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

***

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons

***

Next Post date: July 7, 2014
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June 2, 2014

Dadisms borrowed from:

FathersDayCelebration.com

Dadisms General
Don't ask me, ask your mother.

I'll play catch after I read the paper.

Coffee will stunt your growth.

A little dirt never hurt anyone--just wipe it off..

Get your elbows off the table.

This is your last warning.

I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!

Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry.

Don't forget to check your oil.
You could drive a wooden man nuts!

You're only young once.

You're gonna like it, whether you like it or not!

The early bird gets the worm. Rise and shine!

If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?

You have things so easy!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

What do you think this is, your birthday?

How many times do I have to pound that into your head?

What part of NO don't you understand?

I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybody else's father!

Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!

Two wrongs do not make a right.

Don't use that tone with me!

Am I talking to a brick wall?
If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...

Wipe your feet!

Enough is enough!

Don't make me stop the car!

What did I just get finished telling you?

My father used to tell me...

Act your age.

Go ask your mother!

Just wait until I get you home!

Be home early.

Fill your mouth with food and not with words.

New born child: "I've seen raisin puddings that looked better..."

Promises, Promises! (In response to "I'll never speak to you again!)

Is that a threat, or a promise? (Likewise)

You'll be sorrreee!

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?

Even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then.

"Here I taught you everything I know and you still don't know nothing!"

If I didn't love you so much I wouldn't punish you... I would let you do whatever you wanted.

·Headache remedy: Put your head through the window and the pain will be gone.

I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.

You should visit more often. Your mother worries.

Go tell your mother she wants you.

***

Dadisms On Life

Who said life was supposed to be fair?

Always say please and thank you. That way, you get more.

If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world.

Shake it off. It's only pain.
A little pain never hurt anybody.

Don't take yourself so seriously, take what you do seriously!

You're always a winner if you lose with a smile.

Four things come not back: time past, the spoken word, the sped arrow and a missed opportunity.

Life is a journey and you've just reached one of many speed bumps to come.

If you want to do something, do it because you want to. Don't do it because someone else did.

As long as you tried your hardest, that's all that matters.

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts then we'd all have a merry Christmas.

Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.

Worrying about things you can't change is like a rocking chair... it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

It's hard to be good, and easy to be bad.

Don't tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
The first liar don't stand a chance.

Laugh at yourself first, you'll take the bite out of others doing so for you.

Dadisms On Money Control
You'll realize the value of money once you start earning.

Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
What do you think I am, a bank?

If you're going to steal a car, at least make it a Cadillac
(but don't call me asking for bail.)

***

Dadisms On ME the Great

You didn't beat me. I let you win.

Now you listen to ME, Buster!
I told you... Now see.

I told you, keep your eye on the ball.

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are.

When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.

As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.

I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.

Do what I say, not what I do.

I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.

Any fights, I win!

In MY day......

When I was your age I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow up hill both ways!

Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.
I'm not lost, it's just over the next hill!

When I was your age....

That's not a tear, I have something in my eye.

I'm not watching television. I'm resting my eyes.

***

Dadisms for Boys

Big boys don't cry.

Don't worry. It's only blood.

Don't you know any normal boys?

You call that a haircut?

"Hey" is for horses.

You call that noise "music"?

Sit up straight, knucklehead!

So you think you're smart, do you?

What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times

You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.

What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?

Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!

Husbands are a sorry lot.

I love you, son!

"Son, don't ever get married. And tell that to your kids."

***

Dadisms on Girls

Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.

Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.

I knew how to cook when I was your age, young lady!

You're not leaving my house dressed like that! What will other parents think?

Could those sleeves be any longer?

You look like a big lady!

Men are like buses. Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.

You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.

I love you, princess!

You know you're always gonna to be Daddy's little girl.

***..

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

***

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