Dear Mom,

I want you to know that I love and appreciate you- always have and always will. With a little help from dad, you brought me into this world, loved and nurtured me and continue to do so. My memories of growing up are happy ones, and I now know that this is because you made sure they would be.

You were not a "stay-at-home" mom, you were a "full-time" mom investing your special talents into our family. As a child, I did not consider that life could be any other way. I now know how fortunate I was. To me our house was a palace, always clean and full of life and love. Your artwork of needlepoint and oil paintings decorated our walls. You always planted a flower garden and put fresh flowers in all the rooms. Life ws calm and I could count on an Abba Zabba and Mr. Rogers after my nap when I was little. That sounds good right about now. We always had a cat and dog and often other pets too. You read to us and let us do messy crafts and play our music.

Our house was the place to be because you welcomed our friends and got to know them. Not to mention the M&M cookies. You know, I used to be able to trade those cookies at school for all of the prepackaged peanuts, and store bought junk that the other kids had. I was quite popular at lunch time. And I remember those lunches so well, Buddig beef sandwiches or that dried beef that used to come in a jar, or simple buttered tortillas were the main course; the sweet was snack pack pudding in the can or cookies, the salty snack was my all time favorite BBQ chips and my daily orange ( I still eat one per day on most days ). You cooked breakfast for us- real breakfasts like eggs and bacon and pancakes for my one brother who always wanted them. Dinner was always a treat. I think my favorite dinner was spareribs. I just remember that they were delicious- do you remember the recipe by any chance? I can't remember what you used to serve with them. We enjoyed the Sunday roast with mashed potatoes and buttered salted veggies, chicken and dumplings, stuffed peppers, tacos and home made pizza ( I never quite mastered that ).

But besides cooking and cleaning you did so much more. You spent time with us. Precious valuable time. You brought us to libraries and Parks. I think I was the only one in my class whose mom took them to go see The Man Who Fell To Earth because David Bowie starred in it, and he was my favorite music artist. You took me and a friend to see the King Tut exhibit in Los Angeles, and afterwards we ate Matzo Ball soup at the counter of a little diner that was a few stores down from Fredrick's of Hollywood. We had voyages to the Bead Shop in Brea where you allowed me to spend a small fortune on gorgeous glass beads and waxed macrame twine. And after we moved from Eagle Rock to Diamond Bar, you would take me all the way back to Eagle Rock so that I could go in my favorite shop of all time, The Basket Shop. I remember it as a magical little store, not brightly lit inside but jam packed with wicker chairs and imported goodies from all around the world, and I would have the time of my life figuring just what I could purchase to spend every last cent that I had. I'd come home to place my treasures on my turquoise shelf.

You taught us to play Canasta and we played for hours on end. Weplayed Scrabble, and Boggle, and Monopoly. We walked places and spent a lot of time at the beach with our cousins riding bikes down the strand and looking at the Hare Krishna's and getting corn dogs and lemonade.

When I turned twelve or so you gently welcomed me into womanhood. I remember our shopping date to Thrifty's where you helped me select some Aziza eyeshadow in brown and gold tone to compliment my eyes and you also bought me a little compact of solid perfumes that were all natural scents of cedar, grass and lavender. I wish I could find that again.

You took on the project of upgrading my room from little girl room to teenager girl room and got me a black light and made me a bed spread with florescent designs that glowed, and green satin Black-Out curtains so that I could do the black light thing during the day if I wanted to. It was so cool. No one else had a custom room like that. And besides decorating my room, you decorated me! I have a pretty good recollection of many of the clothes you sewed for my chubby little frame. Especially the maxi Smiley Face dress! The top was white and the long skirt was a bright print of smiley faces. I loved it and remember putting it on immediately, and then going outside to ride bikes with my brothers. Unfortunately I crashed and slashed the top of my brand new dress. I came running inside worried about the dress, but you were far more concerned with the scar I would surely have on my right breast. You quickly fixed the dress by adding a few smiley face appliques to the top, and it was no worse for the wear. I thought that was pure brilliance. I also remember the green and gold silk kimono that was first a Halloween costume but then became my favorite bathrobe.

You also shared ( and continue to ) your love of words with us. I think I was the first kid in my class to know the meaning of the word, "paranoid". I recall that you added the anecdote that just because someone may be paranoid, it doesn't mean the world really is not out to get them. I have often pondered that. You would read the paper each morning and circle all of the words you were unfamiliar with, and then look them up in the big dictionary and later share your findings with us.

You didn't go out often as I don't recall having babysitters. No nail and hair appointments or solo shopping sprees at the mall. Dinners out were almost always to Espiou's Mexican food and Mexican was not your favorite. I only remember you getting to pick one of the rare movies we went out to see as a family. It was a beautiful historical period piece with fabulous costumes and cinematography, and we moaned and griped all through it. I think you gave up on ever getting to pick the movie after that. There was no Netflix then, so if you missed it in the theatres chances were that you would never get to see the film. My how times have changed. We enjoyed watching Night Gallery, Twilight Zone, Love American Style, The Walton's, Flipper, and of course the cartoons- Felix the Cat, Casper the Ghost, Speed Racer, Johnny Quest, Bugs Bunny and Road Runner. It was a big deal when Wizard of Oz was on TV. A big blanket popcorn party with our cousins. Good times.

And when we finally got that pool that you thought would never really happen we made sure to put it to good use. The family BBQ's with ping pong matches and poker games were so much fun but it must have been a ton of work for you. I don't remember doing the dishes.

Our biggest vacation was a trip to San Francisco and we flew on a plane and stayed in a hotel. Other than that, it was mostly camping with some waterskiing if we were lucky. I think Tijuana is the furthest away from US soil you ever set foot on. Didn't you always want to visit Scandinavia? It is not too late. We should make a plan.

So thank you Mom, for all that you did and continue to do. I did notice the little things. Together they became the big things. The laughter and happiness. The feeling of security and that all was well with the world when I lay my head on the pillow to sleep. You are the best mom anyone could have ever dreamed of having.

Eternal Love and Gratitude- Jewel

Apricotizer

36 dried Apricots

4 ounces of honey goat cheese

one bunch of fresh basil torn up into small pieces

36 Marcona Almonds. Assemble in that order. The favor combo is divine! And so easy!

Exaggerator Mom:

- Eat everything on your plate. There are starving children all over the world who would be glad to trade places with you.
- How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
- Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.
- If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
- Life isn't fair.
- Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
- There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.
- There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
- This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.
- Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
- Well, people in Hell want ice water too!
- When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
- When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
- You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
- You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
- A little soap and water never killed anybody.
- Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
- Close the door! You don't live in a barn.
- You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
- Do you live to annoy me?
- If wishes were horses...
- Well, I haven't figured out how to cook "cold" yet.

Picky Mom:

- I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
- I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
- Don't pick your nose in public.
- Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
- Don't use that tone with me!
- Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
- Don't you have anything better to do?
- Are you going out dressed like that?
- Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
- I don't know is NOT an answer.
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
- Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
- Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
- Say please.
- Turn that racket down!
- Watch your mouth!
- What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
- You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
- You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
- You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
- You just ate an hour ago!
- I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
- Pick up your feet.

Suspicious Mom:

- How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
- Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
- I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!
- I can't believe you did that!
- If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
- It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
- Little pitchers have big ears.
- What, are you kidding?
- When will you be back?
- Where do YOU think you're going?
- Who are you going with? Do I know them?
- Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!
- You can't judge a book by its cover.
- You have an answer for everything, don't you?
- Are you lying to me?

Threatening Mom:

- Do not make that face or it will freeze in that position.
- Don't eat that, you'll get worms!
- Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
- Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
- Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.
- Be careful or you will put your eye out.
- I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
- If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
- If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
- If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
- Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
- If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
- If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.
- If you don't stop crying, I'm going to give you something to cry about!
- If you’re bored, I can always find something for you to do.
- Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
- One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
- Only if you eat all your vegetables
- Over my dead body!
- Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
- Running away? I'll help you pack.
- Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
- Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
- Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
- You are going to get it when you get home!
- You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
- Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
- As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
- I'm doing this for your own good.
- Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!
- You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
- You are getting on my last nerve.
- I'm going to skin you alive!
- I've had it up to here with you.
- Answer me when I ask you a question!
- Leave your sister (brother) alone!

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May 5, 2014

Momisms borrowed from:

Happy Worker

Predictable Mom:

- If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
- If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
- If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.
- When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
- When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
- It's no use crying over spilt milk.
- You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
- Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
- Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!
- Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!
- Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
- If you don't learn how to cook, no one is going to want to marry you.
- You're the oldest. You should know better.
- You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
- Someone is going to end up crying.
- Go to your room and think about what you did!
- The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
- When I was a little girl...
- Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.
- I can always tell when you're lying.
- If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (… tongue, eyebrows...) He would have put them there!

Nagging Mom:

- Clean up after yourself!
- Did you brush your teeth?
- Did you clean your room?
- Did you comb your hair?
- Did you flush?
- Do your homework!
- Is your homework finished?
- Isn't it past your bedtime?
- Ok, but first take out the garbage.
- Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
- Wipe your feet!
- You made your bed, now lie in it.
- Don't talk with your mouth full!
- Be good.
- You could have called.

Lazy Mom:

- Ask your Father.
- Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
- Don't make me come in there!
- Don't make me get up!
- Don't run in the house.
- Enough is enough!
- How many times do I have to tell you?
- I don't care what all the other kids get to do.
- I don't have to explain myself. I said no.
- I'm going to give you until the count of three...
- I'm not going to ask you again.
- No.
- I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
- You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid!
- Who died and left you boss?
- When did your last slave die?
- Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
- Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
- Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
- No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them! - You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem.
- Nobody asked you.

Confused Mom:

- Who do you think you are?
- Who do you think you're talking to?
- Do you think I'm made of money?
- Who said life was going to be easy?
- Am I talking to a brick wall?
- All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
- A little "birdy" told me!
- I'm not your cleaning lady!
- I'm not your maid!
- I'm not your waitress!
- No child of MINE would do something like that.
- Stop acting like your father!
- What did I say the FIRST time?
- At work my mind's on the children, at home I think of the office.
- You’re just like your father.
- Are you deaf or something?
- What part of NO don't you understand?

Chicken Mom:

- Be careful!
- Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.
- Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
- Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
- Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
- I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
- Do not put that in your mouth; you do not know where it has been!
- Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
- You can't start the day on an empty stomach

Selfish Mom:

- I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
- I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
- I just want what's best for you.
- If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
- If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
- I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
- Don't stay up too late!
- Do what I say, not what I do.
- I'm not running a taxi service.
- You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
- Just wait until we get home.
- Shut the door! I'm not heating the entire neighborhood!
- So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
- So what if Sally's mom let her do it? If Sally's mom let her jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
- Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
- You must think rules are made to be broken.
- I don't care who started it, I said stop!
- Money does NOT grow on trees.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Lovely Mom:

- You will ALWAYS be my baby.
- I will always love you - no matter what.
- Nobody will ever love you like your mother.

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