What Would You Do If You Had Free Time?

Happy Labor Day! I hope you have found a moment to do what you like to do this weekend. For some people that means hosting a barbeque with friends. For others it means being invited to a barbeque with friends. It could be spending time on the internet collecting peacock art and aphorisms while drinking lukewarm coffee with Bailey's Chocolate creamer. Or taking a long walk with your darling pooch and appreciating the flowers. Or floating in the pool for hours without a care in the world. Or forwarding awful emails criticizing one political point of view or the other. Or sleeping in until 3 because you stayed up watching movies and playing video games until 4 AM. Or watching silly little videos on www.wimp.com. Or reading all of the articles in the LA Times. Or doodling with no finished project in mind. Or tending to your garden. Or getting a pedicure and manicure. Or wacthing old westerns on tv. Or planning an evening out. Or getting the house clean and organized. Or writing a blog. Or winning at Apples to Apples. Or listeing to great music. Or inventing a new pie. Or flitting around on Facebook looking at pictures and snippets of how other poeple are spending their time. Or reading a great book. Or having a terrific conversation with a dear friend or family member. Or crossing off the last thing on that "to do" list. Or thinking about Ryan Gosling's abs in "Crazy Stupid Love". Or remembering what a great vacation you had. Or petting your cat. Or really listening to what your little ones have to say- their thoughts are so pure and unvarnished! Or watching a butterfly float above the orange trees. Or finding animals in the clouds. Or imagining how you would spend $1,000,000 if you won it on a Scratcher. Or sweating to the oldies. Or drinking six Cokes and eating Doritos while wtching Tosh.0. Or hearing a good joke that caught you by surprise. Or going for a bicycle ride. Or sharing useful knowledge. Or planting cacti in the planters along Reseda Blvd. and maintaining them- watching them grow. Or offering advice to someone who needs it or doesn't :o) Or going to church. Or going to Gelson's to pick out just the flowers you want for your customized bouquet ( I think I will do that today!) Or finding $20 bucks you didn't know you had. Or the cell phone you thought you lost.Or being told you look nice by someone whose opinion you admire. Or making a stranger smile.Or planning your soccer team lineup. Or making a fresh Margarita- really smelling that lime juice. Or running 6 miles in the heat because you've worked up to that distance. Or thinking about what you are going to wear to Homecoming and who you will go with. Or eating icecream. Or watching an interesting movie with subtitles so you really have to think. Or musing on the origin of the Universe- chance or design? Or wondering what you might look like in 10 years. Or getting a foot rub. Or giving a foot rub. Or building something- anything in the garage. Or writing a story and creating the illustrations. Or fixing the toilet. Or shopping for a new couch. Or going to yoga class. Or texting with your mom!Or looking through a kaleidoscope. Or smelling freshly cut mint. Or listening to a really interesting motivational speaker. Or drinking really good wine. Or going bowling. Or walking along the beach.Or getting a really good deal on a great pair of shoes.Or catching that frisbee that everyone was sure you would miss. Or riding a roller coaster. Or learning a new word. Or impressing someone that you didn't think was listening. Or eating pizza. Or explaining the history of your city to a foreign visitor. Or getting your hair cut. Or catching a lizard. Or giving a dollar to a homeless person. Or being cognizant of the moment your neck stops aching. Or seeing something old in a new way. Or cooking a delicious meal for someone who can't cook for themself anymore.Or going to Bare Essentials and picking out a new eyeshadow and lipgloss. Or going for a hike. Or putting a band aid on a scraped knee. Or cleaning the cat box. Or planting a pansy plant in the front yard. Or thinking about what scents your perfect perfume would include- mine would be lavendar, vanilla, sandalwood,orange blossom, and rose. Or going paintballing. Or solving the the difficult Sodoku puzzle. Or giving birth.Or looking at your wedding ring.Or getting your eyeliner on just right. Or watching the History channel. Or learning how to make a gum paste flower. Or sailing on the sea. Or playing Texas Hold 'em. Or singing in the shower.

Whatever floats your boat- I hope you had some time to do it!

More Aphorisms:

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They're a different breed of dog.

Josh Billings

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Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.

W.B.Yeats

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Will Rogers (1879-1935)

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Every time you think about how dumb the average man is, just remember: by definition, half of them are even dumber than that.

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Everything in life is six to five against.

Damon Runyon

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Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.

Heinrich Heine

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Faith may move mountains, but it was the whip that built the pyramids.

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Few men speak humbly of humility, chastely of chastity, skeptically of skepticism.

Blaise Pascal

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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

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Given enough time, what you put off doing today will eventually get done by itself.

G. Gestra

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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Napolean Bonaparte (1769-1821)

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Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.

Barry LePatner

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Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

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Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant

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Having it all doesn't necessarily mean having it all at once.

Stephanie Luetkehans

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He promised me earrings, but he only pierced my ears.

Arabian proverb

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Hell is paved with Good Samaritans.

William M. Holden

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His absence is good company.

Scottish saying

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Honest criticism is hard to take, especially from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Franklin P. Jones

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I agree with what you say, but I will kill you if you say it again.

Alan S. Watt

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I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Stephen Leacock

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I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool.

Katharine Whitehorn

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I am not young enough to know everything.

James Matthew Sarrie

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I don't think adversity necessarily builds character, but it certainly gives you an opportunity to display it.

Gary Bean

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I feel that lying is a way of taking personal responsibility for reality.

Garrison Keillor

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I know very few ideas worth dying for, none worth killing for.

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I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

Alexandre Dumas the Younger (1824-1895)

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If a man says to you, "It isn't the money; it's the principle of the thing," I'll lay you six to one it's the money.

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If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

***

If it were not for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

A.K.Griffin

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If you choose to criticize, you choose your enemies.

O. Osbourne

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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

George Bernard Shaw

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If you look 'round the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.

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If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.

Kurt Lewin

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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

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September 5, 2011

Aphorisms:

A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg.

Samuel Butler

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A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Louis Nizer

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A hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head.

C.S. Lewis

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

H. H. Munro

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A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.

Charles M. Schwab

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A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Oscar Wilde

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A man should be greater than some of his parts.

Peter De Vries

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A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.

Gore Vidal

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A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.

Albert Einstein

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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Herm Albright

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A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

Alistair Cooke

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A pseudointellectual is a person who knows what "pseudo" means.

***

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Tennessee Williams

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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Samuel Goldwyn

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A young doctor means a new graveyard.

German proverb

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After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Cato the Elder

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All that is needed for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.

Edmond Burke

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Alle Kunst
ist umsunst
Wenn ein Engel auf das Zuendloch brunzt.

(All skill is in vain when an angel pees in the touchhole of your musket.)

Old German Proverb

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Altruism is a fine motive, but if you want results, greed works much better.

Henry Spencer

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

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An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

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An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you.

Elbert Hubbard

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An intellectual is a person whose mind watches itself.

Albert Camus (1913-1960)

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Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.

Benjamin Franklin

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Anything that doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

Nietzsche

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As long as you've lit one candle, you're allowed to curse the darkness.

Walt Leipold

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Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.

Irving Kristol

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Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

Blake Clark

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Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.

George Bernard Shaw

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Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

John Wooden

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Do not take life too seriously; you will not get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

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Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.

***

Don't be humble. You're not that great.

Golda Meir

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Anthony's Law of Force

Don't force it --- get a bigger hammer.

***

Attila the Hun's Rule

If you're going to rape, pillage, and burn, be sure to do things in the right order.

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing; it was here first.

Mark Twain

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