The Importance of That Which Is Depends Upon That Which Is Not

I am keen on inspiration and I am always on the lookout for words of wisdom. Little purse books with inspirational quotes are a must have, as are iPhone apps with daily affirmations, emails, internet quote searches, great advice from good friends, and Dr. Wayne Dyer's perpetual flip calendar. It was from the last of the above listed sources that I came upon the quote for which this column is titled, " The importance of that which is depends upon that which is not." So simple in theory, so deep in application. It is the classic Yin / Yang, Black / White, Positive / Negative theory, but worded much more eloquently in my opinion.

I had to read it several times before it sunk in. I read that calendar sometimes at 5 AM so that is my excuse for not being quick to grasp the deeper meaning. I had to come up with some practical examples in order to understand better: for example, if it is not raining, then having an umbrella is not important. If you are not cash strapped, then having money is not important. If you are not hungry, then having a fully stocked pantry at home is not important. And conversely, if you don't feel accepted, then the importance of fitting in becomes monumental. If you do not have enough time, then time itself becomes most important- etc. What a concept- a truism. I love truth. Even when it hurts. It is so beautiful because it just is- always was- and always will be. There is something comforting in constants because you can count on their consistency.

So reflecting back on some of the really interesting conversations I was fortunate enough to have during the month of February, I decided to apply this little principle, and I thought it would be a good topic for the March Muse.

One of the conversations was with a most adorable couple who run a fancy gift shop in Glendale, where I happened to be shopping for a very special baby shower gift for my nephew and his lovely wife, who are expecting. I had just finished a delicious lunch with one of my most dears, and had scant time to shop, and the shower was the next day. In Riverside! Inside the gift shop I found a beautiful keepsake baby's first Bible, and while it was being gift wrapped, I had the opportunity to chat with the store owners. I have no idea how we got on the subject, perhaps because I was deliberating whether or not to make the investment on such a tiny yet precious gift, but the man began sharing a story with me about missed opportunities.

He mentioned that many years ago, shortly after he and his wife were first married, they were traveling abroad, and he happened upon a beautiful crimson and gold dress which he wanted to purchase for his lovely wife. She declined his offer to purchase the dress as it was more revealing than she was comfortable with. The shop owner went on to explain that he couldn't understand his wife's hesitancy because in his mind, if he was okay with her wearing the dress in public, why couldn't she be? He went on to say that he still, to this day, regrets not having purchased the dress even after all of these years. Now if they had purchased the dress, and she had worn it often, it would not hold this importance to him. So the importance of the dress was due to not having purchased it.

So, in keeping with the theme of this column, I will sign off early as I am exhausted. I hope the importance of what I have shared is underscored by what I have not :-)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Jewel

Irish Fun

An Irishman, an Englishman and a beautiful girl are riding together in a train, with the beautiful girl in the middle.The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Irishman are sitting there looking perplexed. The Englishman is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.

The Englishman is thinking "Damn it, that Mick must have tried to kiss the girl, she thought it was me and slapped me."

The girl is thinking, "That Englishman must have moved to kiss me, and kissed the Irishman instead and got slapped."

The Irishman is thinking, "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Englishman again!!

Thank you Patrick Dennis for this submission.

***

Paddy stopped cutting the hedge as the big car drew up beside him and an English visitor enquired,

"Could you tell me the way to Balbriggan, Please?"
Paddy wiped his brow.

"Certainly, sor. If you take the first road to the left? no still that wouldn't do? drive on for about four miles then turn left at the crossroads? no that wouldn't do either."
Paddy scratched his head thoughtfully.

"You know, sor, if I was going to Balbriggan I wouldn't start from here at all."

***

Sign in an Irish pub:
"This establishment closes at 11 o'clock sharp. We are open from 10 a.m. until 11 p.m. and if you haven't had enough to drink at that hour the management feels that you haven't really been trying."

***

O'Connell was staggering home with a small bottle of Paddy in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"

***

Oscar Wilde Quotes:

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world".

***

"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally."

***

" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

***

"A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her."

***

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

***

"A man who does not think for himself does not think at all."

***

"A man's face is his autbiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction."

***

"A poet can survive everything but a misprint."

***

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."

***

"A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperment."

***

"Alas, I am dying beyond my means."

***

"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling."

***

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

***

"Always forgive yur enemies - nothing annoys them so much."

***

"Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds."

***

"An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him."

***

"Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion."

***

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passin, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

***

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

***

"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength and courage to yield to."

***

"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

***

"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."

***

"Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life."

***

"I see why men love women. They gve them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything."

***

"I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability."

***

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."

***

"In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane."

***

"In married life three is company and two is none"

Next Post date: April 2, 2012
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March 5, 2012

Limericks

There once was a sculptor named Phideous

Whose sculptures by most were thought hideous

He carved Aphrodite

Without even a nightie

Which shocked all the fussy fastidious

(Contributed by Natalie Moffitt)

***

'Tis a favourite project of mine,

A new value of pi to assign.

I would fix it at 3,

For it's simpler, you see,

Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

***

There was a young girl from Rabat,

who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;

It was fun in the breeding,

But hell in the feeding,

When she found she had no tit for Tat.
--
(Contributed by Terry Walsh)

***

There Once was a Man called Reg

Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge

Along came his wife

With a big Carving Knife

And cut off his meat and two veg

(Contributed by Matt Barton)

***

Said the Vicar to old Bishop Price,

My wife's just had twins,, ain't that nice.

But the Bishop said, "Father,

in future I'd rather,

you abstained, or were not naughty twice."

***

An exceedingly fat friend of mine,

When asked at what hour he'd dine,

Replied, "At eleven,

At three, five, and seven,

And eight and a quarter past nine.

***

A limerick fan from Australia

regarded his work as a failure:

his verses were fine

until the fourth line

?

***

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

Really liked playing with fire.

One night in the dark

He swam with a shark,

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

***

A bather whose clothing was strewed,

By winds that left her quite nude,

Saw a man come along,

And unless we are wrong,

You expected this line to be lewd.

***

There was a young lass from Australia

Who painted her ass like a Dahlia

The shape it was fine

And the color devine

But the aroma--well, that was a faihlia

(Contributed by Maurie Houseman)

***

There was a young lady named Kite

Whose speed was much faster than light.

She left home one day

In a relative way

And returned on the previous night.

***

I once took our vicar to tea;

It was just as I thought it would be:

His rumblings abdominal

Were simply phenomenal,

And everyone thought it was me.

***

There once was a fly on the wall
I wonder why didn't it fall

Because its feet stuck

Or was it just luck

Or does gravity miss things so small?

***

There once was a slimmer named Steen

Who grew so phenominally lean

And flat, and compressed,

That his back touched his chest,

So that sideways he couldn't be seen.

***

A young schizophrenic named Struther,

Who learned of the death of his Brother,

Said, "I know that its bad,

But I don't feel too sad.

After all, I still have each other."

***

The incredible Wizard of Oz

Retired from his business becoz

due to up-to-date science,

To most of his clients,

He wasn't the Wizard he woz.

***

There was an old gent from Hyde

Who ate rotten apples and died.

The apples fermented

Inside the lamented

And made cider inside his inside.

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