Intimacy and Vulnerability- Conjoined

February- one of my favorite months because it contains the holiday which celebrates Love- Valentine's Day. I love it and have always loved it. The glitter, the flowers- long stemmed red roses in gold foil boxes, doilies and lace and fancy heart shaped boxes with delectable chocolates inside to delight. Visions of jewelry and perfume and sugarplum fairies- wait- I may be mixing it up with another holiday that celebrates Love. But you know what I mean. At least I hope you do. I would hope that all of my Muse readers have had the good fortune and destiny to experience true love for at least one hour of their lives. It is enough to sustain through the darkest hours.

But as with most valued experiences, it takes an investment and some daring in order to capture the prize. I recently came to the realization that in order to experience true love, there must be intimacy. And when there is intimacy, there is vulnerability.You can't have one without the other. Just as you can't have excess calories without weight gain, or excess alcohol without a buzz, or work without responsibility, or a good joke without laughter.

There are just some things that are conjoined. You can't have one without the other. It sucks. It's a very poor design. We should be able to go for the instant gratification without the investment. You know- like a drive through life where you can get what you want instantly- like a perfect burger every time when you go to In- N- Out. No investment and a fantastically satisfying result every time without fail. Nah. We wouldn't really appreciate it then. It would just be a passing moment of euphoria. Not lasting and eternal.

So let's first talk a little bit about love. It's one of those words like "up" and and "in"- and that four letter word that is used in practically every part of speech. What is love? I think it is a combination of so many other feelings: respect, admiration, appreciation, caring, lust, trust, devotion, and on and on. So many different feelings- takes much less breath to say "love." It encompasses all of the good. But how do we find it? Does it just land in our lap like a cold kitten? Or does that only happen to the beautiful people like most of us like to imagine? Is it natural or developed? Heck- I don't know. It is pure magic and mystery to me.

You can meet someone who seems to have all of the attributes that you think would satisfy you, physical, mental, emotional, and then, well nothing. Conversely, you can meet someone who seems to have none of the attributes you think you would appreciate- and wow- sparks- fireworks! Why? What is it exactly that triggers this- uh emotion? Feeling? Experience? State of being? Is it perhaps a result of something deep inside of us, something that we may not even be in touch with, but it is in us, and it is magic, and it can see and know things that we, on a cerebral level, cannot? What it sees, and how it sees it? Only God knows that.( But match.com sure wishes they knew!!) But if we listen to it and follow it and trust it, we can achieve true intimacy.

But then there is that awful risk of rejection! What if you follow that inner inclination, and jump off of the high dive, with no turning back, to express and share what that magical unknown beingness inside of you recognizes in another, and it is not returned? Well then you hit concrete instead of water. And there is no turning back. So you need to be sure before you take that dive. And how can we ever be sure of anything? We cannot. We may believe that the sun will rise tomorrow, but the sun is not rising or setting, the Earth is rotating around the sun. Things are not always what they seem. But love makes the world go round, or so the saying goes. It definitely exists. I am sure. I have experienced it. And continue to experience it. I'd rather eat the truffles and deal with the pounds that come with it. Tell the inappropriate joke and enjoy the laughter that comes with it. We can choose to live a calm life inside a bubble of our own making- not risking rejection, not being vulnerable, not having intimacy, not really loving or living for that matter. I call this the cardboard life. Like an etching compared to an oil painting. Kind of there but only a shadow of what could be experienced. 10% instead of 100%. Or we can dive in- following our hearts into the deep deep waters, hoping we can come up for air to do it again.

It was explained to me once that you can know it is love when your feeling is not, "What can you do for me?" but rather, " What can I do for you?" It's that feeling where you become happy just by thinking about what you can do to please the one you love- with no ulterior motive or expectation. It is rare and pure and risky because of the vulnerability. It's like that little flower that pokes out from the deep dark earth to say hello to the sky just as an unknowing foot pushes it back into the dirt. But there are many flowers who make it, and get to stay and share their beauty with the butterflies and the world. It is the destiny. I think there are many who could experience love were they able to find someone whom they could really trust, and then be comfortable and confident enough to risk intimacy, and hence vulnerability. We are quite a complex species, different from the other animals in this one way. It is not just a matter of survival, but much much more.

Happy Valentine's Day from Jewel <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Do Flower Colors Mean?

Red:

Red is most commonly associated with love, desire, and passion. A red flower can be a symbol of desire, lust, devotion, and beauty. The color red is also often related to heat, fire, and strength. Red flowers when given in various numbers can mean anything from , "I love you," to "Will you marry me?"

Pink:

The pink flower can signify a teasing interest, grace, gentility, and happiness. It is often amore modest gesture than that of a striking red flower, offering an allure of mystery to the recipient as to the intentions of the giving party. Pink also may represent joy youthfulness, and innocence.

Orange:

Orange is a color that screams excitement, exuberance, and enthusiasm. An orange flower is a bold statement of color and vitality. Often associated with the sun, a bouquet that contains orange flowers brings thoughts of passion for life, satisfaction, and an air of confidence.

Yellow:

Yellow flowers simply make people smile. It is the color of friendship, joy, and lightheartedness. New beginnings like the start of spring are associated with the beauty of yellow flowers. Warm and bright,this color also is a perfect way to add brilliance to any bouquet.

Other Colors:

Other colors include purple, a traditional color of royalty, pride or success. Lavender is like pink is to red, also meaning royalty, but with a youthful exuberance and tenderness. Blue flowers offer a sense of calm, dignity and serenity, while white flowers symbolize purity and innocence.

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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.- Judy Garland

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Love is a game that two can play and both win.

-Eva Gabor

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Love is being stupid together.- Paul Valery

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If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. -Michel de Montaigne

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Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.- Ben Hecht

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I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W. H. Auden

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We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another. - Lucretius

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To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever. - Henry Drummond

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Love is the flower you've got to let it grow. - John Lennon

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Come live in my heart and pay no rent.- Samuel Lover

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A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.- Ingrid Bergman

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When love is not madness, it is not love.- Pedro Calderon de la Barca

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Where there is love there is life.- Mohandas Gandhi

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Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.- Zelda Fitzgerald

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The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.- Margaret Atwood

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Love makes your soul crawl out fro its hiding place.

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Love is metaphysical gravity.- R. Buckminster Fuller

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Life is the flower for which love is the honey.- Victor Hugo

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Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself.- Andre Breton

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Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes cancels and fans flames. -Francois de la Rochefoucauld

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Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.- C.S. Lewis

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As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words.- William Shakespeare

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At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

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February 6, 2012
Quotes

Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.

-Crystal Middleman

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Love is like a mustard seed; planted by God and watered by men.

-Muda Saint Michael

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There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

-George Sand

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You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world.

-David Levesque

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Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this.

-Stephen Packer

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The Magic of Love

Love is like magic and it always will be.

For love still remains life's sweet mystery.

Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange.

And there's nothing in life that love cannot change.

Love can transform the most commonplace.

Into beauty and splendor and sweetness and grace.

Love is unselfish, Understanding and kind.

For it sees with its heart and not with its mind.

Love is the answer that everyone seeks.

Love is the language that every heart speaks.

Love can't be bought, it is priceless and free.

Love, like pure magic is life's sweet mystery.

-Helen Steiner Rice

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When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

-Elizabeth Bowen

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Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.

-Amy Bloom

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We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together.

-Brian Andres

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Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility... It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down, Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not. Though weary, it is not tired; though pressed, it is not straitened; though alarmed, it is not confounded...

-Thomas A. Kempis

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Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful.

-Daniel Monroe Tuttle

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Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less.

-Will Moss

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Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul.

-Author Unknown

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Love that is true never grows old.

- Elben Bano

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A friend's love says: If you ever need anything, I'll be there.

True love says: You'll never need anything; I'll be there.

- Jimi Hollemans

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A bell is not a bell until someone rings it,

A song is not a song until someone sings it.

Love wasn't put in the heart to stay, For love isn't love 'til you give it away.

-Chanh Kha

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The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

-G.K. Chesterson

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Real love is feeling like being a part of that person's life almost isn't enough. It's more like a feeling that you would live in the same skin with them if you could and share every thought, heart beat, an emotion as one.

-Rod Cannon

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Love is when you look into someone's eyes and see their heart.

-Jill Petty

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The thing about falling in love, is that if you do it right, you never have to hit the ground.

-Kendall Lepitzki

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