Misery Loves Company

Some days I feel like I am the embodiment of the ColdPlay song:

"Fix You"

Click Here to Listen

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I love this band. The lyrics, the melodies. When I bought their first CD years ago, I remember putting it on while doing the massive amounts of dishes from the Thanksgiving dinner bash. I will always remember my mentor friend's startling reaction to it, "Oh my God! This is wrist slitting music!!!" Too downer for her. She is a positive person with a great attitude, and donates so much of her time to helping others. We are soul sisters and enjoy spending time together when we have the opportunity. I can tell her anything and get an honest, wise, thoughtful and tactful response. She is a year older than I am, and is a fount of wisdom. She has helped me find pediatricians, schools, and my first career! We plan family holidays together and occasionally squeeze in an outing. We started a book club, but I dropped out as I could not keep up with the reading. Epic fail.

I used to write her and another of my dear friends long detailed emails about my frustrations of having too much to do and not enough time to do it. Sometimes it was just more for me to see what I had to do or even what I had done in chronological order, so I could make sense of it. I wanted validation that my life was not normal but that I was a good sport for trying to accomplish the impossible. Like three different soccer practices at three different parks at nearly the same time in one evening in which I also needed to prepare dinner and check the homework for four kids while making sure everyone had a clean uniform for the next day and the nine pets were fed. I wanted someone to tell me it was impossible and to quit trying. Of course no one ever did..

I had a falling out with the dear friend and was devastated by it. Thank heavens all is resolved now. I learned a lot from the experience, and I am glad she had the guts to tell me some things I needed to hear. For example, she gently mentioned that everyone is busy and has struggles and that no one really liked reading the long emails detailing the hectic schedules. Her words rang true, and I curtailed the email diatribes after that. I attempted to keep them short and sweet and informative. Only sending really interesting stuff instead of forwarding everything that came my way. Far less "venting". Oftentimes I would compose a long email saying all that I wanted to communicate, and then delete about three quarters of it

I confided in my mentor friend, who chuckled, and told me that she missed the long whiny emails! That was precious. Now that Facebook has taken over, I find that I am not emailing so much anymore, but I also miss personal emails. Not just the forwarded jokes and shocking photos, but the personal descriptions of day to day life filled with introspection and reflection. Oftentimes we can better express our thoughts in the written word than the spoken. It gives us time to plan and revise and review in order to make sure we are really conveying what we intended to. And we get to finish our sentences uninterrupted. Maybe this is why kids love to text so much rather than pick up the phone and actually speak.

Well, if ever there was a day for a long whiny email, yesterday was it. Just a lot of stupid stuff, work stress, family obligations, too much to do and not enough time. I fantasized about hibernating for about 6 weeks and emerging once all the deadlines had passed. I did not send either of these friends an email, because I now have another friend who pines for my whines. She is witty and encouraging, and we love to play with words. We write most days and there is no limit. She seems to enjoy my rants, and has time to read them, and I enjoy her clever responses, so I try not to burden others with my long electronic communications.

I was really having a pity party until I read a very nice email from mentor friend, wishing me well on my upcoming trip, as she knows I am a bit nervous about being a full-time caregiver for a week for my dad who has multiple complicated disabilities. It is not that I am unwilling, I am just untrained and a bit nervous about his medical regimen. I don't want to make any mistakes which might cause him to suffer any more than he already does. I will pray to God and do my best, and we will be fine.

Well, in her email, she shared a bit of what she was dealing with, helping one of her sisters deal with overwhelming dental issues etc. I suddenly realized that her day had gone far worse than mine, and it was like a thousand pounds were instantly lifted from my shoulders. Dear friend's words came back to me- yes, we are all busy and dealing with just a bit more than we think we can handle, but mentor friend's email meant so much to me. I was interested in her travails. I am glad she shared her angst with me. Thank God we are able to assist our family members. It ain't always smooth sailing. But it often helps to know we are not alone. In a strange way it seems to almost normalize some of the more bizarre occurrences in our lives.

I like to get beneath the surface with those I hold dear. Not only because I am a nosy and curious being, but because it helps to foster a deeper connection. To be able to be honest. To be able to be heard and validated. To know that you matter and that someone is rooting for you. To be silly or angry and still feel accepted. Like a mother's love for her child. Unconditional. And in the end, this is what matters.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

Recipe- I have not cooked it yet, but I can't wait to try it:

Greek Lamb, Artichoke and Onion Stew

borrowed from: http://www.womansday.com/recipefinder/greek-lamb-artichoke-onion-stew-121443

Shaffer Smith
Serves: 6 Edit

Total Time: 10 hr
Prep Time: 20 min

U.S. Metric Conversion chart
2 pound(s) lean lamb shoulder, cut in 1-in. chunks
12 medium boiling onions (about 1 1/2 lb), peeled and halved lengthwise
2 cup(s) canned tomato purée
1 cup(s) dry red wine
3 tablespoon(s) red-wine vinegar
2 tablespoon(s) minced garlic
1 cinnamon stick
1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
1/2 teaspoon(s) pepper
1/2 teaspoon(s) sugar
1/4 teaspoon(s) ground allspice
1/4 teaspoon(s) cumin
1/4 teaspoon(s) dried oregano
1 can(s) (14 oz) artichoke hearts, drained and quartered
1/2 cup(s) chopped parsley
Toppings: chopped walnuts and crumbled feta cheese (optional)
Mix ingredients except artichoke hearts and parsley in a 4-qt or larger slow-cooker. Cover and cook on low 8 to 10 hours or until lamb and onions are tender.
Stir in artichoke hearts and parsley. Cover and let stand 2 minutes or until artichokes are hot. Remove cinnamon stick. Serve sprinkled with walnuts and feta cheese.

Read more: Greek Lamb Artichoke and Onion Stew Recipe - Slow Cooker Recipes - Woman's Day

More Wisdom Quotes:

"The cut worm forgives the plow."

-Willaim Blake


"A horse being whipped to keep going up a mountain so that it can carry a child to life-saving medical attention does not understand the purpose of its suffering. Isn't it possible that our suffering might also serve a purpose that we cannot grasp?"

-Viktor Frankl


"All nature is but art, unknown to thee; All chance, direction, which thou canst not see; All discord, harmony, not understood; All partial evil, universal good; And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite, One truth is clear, WHATEVER IS, IS RIGHT."

-Alexander Pope


"Don't curse the darkness, light a candle."

- Chinese Proverb


"I make the most of all that comes and the least of all that goes."

-Sara Teasdale


"Life delights in life."

-William Blake


"For the thing-in-itself, the will to live, exists whole and undivided in every being, even in the smallest, as completely as in the sum-total of all things that ever were or are or will be."

-Arthur Schopenhauer


" 'Tis not the meat, but 'tis the appetite makes eating a delight."

-John Suckling


"It is not our level of prosperity that makes for happiness, but the kinship of heart to heart and the way we look at the world. Both attitudes lie within our power..."

-Alexander Solzhenitsyn


"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.'

-Charles Kingsley


"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

-Helen Keller


"Don't worry about what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive."

-Howard Thurman


"No man is a failure who is enjoying life."

-William Feather


"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past."



"Not every end is a goal. The end of a melody is not its goal; but nonetheless, if the melody had not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either."

- Friedrich Nietzsche


"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever."

-Mahatma Gandhi


"Happiness comes out of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.."

-Storm Jameson


"The really happy man is the one who can enjoy the scenery when he has to take a detour"



"He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the fool who waits for the river to run out before he crosses."



"We're still not where we are going but we're still not were we were."

-Natashc Jasefowitz


"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened."

-Dr. Seuss


"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Don't stop."

-Sam Levinson


"A little boy was asked how he learned to skate. "By getting up every time I fell down" he answered."

-Davod Seabury


"If you love the river, make friends with the crocodile.

-Indian Proverb


"The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.

-William F. Slovenia'


"The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves."

-Logan Pearsall Smith


"Temper gets you into trouble, pride keeps you there."



"Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to hide them."

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld


Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last."

-Samuel Johnson


"Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will."

-James Stephens


"Everything felt is because of contrast. It here were no death you couldn't feel alive."

-Alan Watts


"If a song didn't end it would just be noise."



"Death is nothing to us, since when we exist there is no death, and when there is death we do not exist."



"The great way has no gate. Clear water has no taste. The tongue has no bone. In complete stillness, a stone girl is dancing.

-Seung Sahn


Next Post date: June 3, 2013

check out today's front page all around the world!

Photo taken by Hilary Ribons in Boston a week after the horrific bombings. It evokes such hope! Be sure to click on it for the mystery link :-)
May 6, 2013


" The deepest principle of Human Nature is the craving to be appreciated..."

- William James


"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


"Popularity? It is glory's small change."

-Victor Hugo


"No one who deserves confidence ever solicits it."

-John Churto Collins


"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it."

-Andre Gide


"The more conscious you become, the more unconscious you realize you are. You don't stop. There is no stopping place. There is an openness that is part of a new style of thinking.

-Patricia Sun


"All supreme questions, all ultimate problems of value are beyond human reason."

-Friedrich Nietzsche


"The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like a condemned man who is proud of his large cell.

-Simone Weil


"We know too much and feel too little."

-Bertrand Russell


"The plain fact is that there are no conclusions."

-James Jeans


"Knowledge shrinks as wisdom grows, for details are swallowed up in principles."

-Alfred Lord Whitehead


"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."



"You can straighten a worm, but the crook is in him and only waiting."

-Mark Twain


"We all have the strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others."

-Francios de La Rochefoucauld


"It takes courage to stand up and speak; it also takes courage to sit down and listen."

-Winston Churchill


"When the fox preaches, look to your geese."

-German Proverb


"He may only chastise who loves."

-Rabindranath Tagore


"The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere."

-Anne Morros Lindberg


"It is a secret known but to few, yet of small use in the conduct of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, the first thing you should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should hear him.

-Sir Richard Steele


"What you are looking for is who is looking."

-Saint Francis of Assisi


"God speaks to every individual through what happens to him moment by moment."

-Jean Pierre de Caussade


"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now. When you see through this one instant, you see through the one who sees."



"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself."

-Henry Miller


"Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."

-St. Francis de Sales


"We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know."

-W.H. Auden


"The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this Earth."

-Wilfred Grenfell


"Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson


"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."



"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Once upon a time a man whose ax was missing suspected his neighbor's son. The boy walked like a thief, looked like a thief, and spoke like a thief. But the man found his ax while digging in the valley, and the next time he saw his neighbor's son, the boy walked, looked and spoke like any other child."

-Lao Tzu


"When you hate someone, the way they hold their spoon annoys you; when you love someone, they can spill a bowl of soup in your lap and you don't mind."



"You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration."

-James Lane Allen


"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "Thank You", That would suffice."

-Meister Eckhart


" A thankful person is thankful under all circumstances. A complaining soul complains even if he lives in paradise."



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