Night Night Sleep Tight

So I don't know if I'm getting old or what, but my lower back has been so stiff in the morning that it's tough to put on shoes. My neck has also been sore, and I've been on a mission to locate the cause. I went to the Chiropractor, Acupuncturist, Craniosacral Therapist, tried the Calcium tablets, back exercises etc. In my quest for the cause of my discomfort, I did take note that our mattress had formed a mountain between the two sides where my husband and I sleep. Clearly it was blown out and needed to be replaced. I hated that mattress from the get go anyway. It was simply too damn firm for my soft physique, and I never did get a good night's rest on it. I spent many a night on the couch, and after seven years of this, felt it was time to upgrade the mattress.

Had it been in my jurisdiction, I would have simply driven down to Sit and Sleep, spoken to the salesman, Fred, who was dressed in red, and bought a bed! (Seriously, he does exist at the Ventura and Vanalden Sit and Sleep!) I prefer to let my senses make my decisions, and go with the expertise of a bed salesman who's been in the business for twenty years.

However, mattress shopping does not fall within my jurisdiction so my better half had to take charge. Now a decision like this is no easy task for a traditional Libran male. It had to be researched and price compared. We had to wait for Consumer Reports to have a mattress on their front cover. After all, hadn't he spent a ton of money on our last mattress, and yet I still hated it? He was so worried about spending another wad of cash on an unknown mattress that maybe we wouldn't like, that I think he would have preferred to keep the old uncomfortable one if only for familiarity.

Of course, I knew this was going to be a lengthy process, so I had to stand my ground. I declared that I would not spend another night on the blown out mattress. My daughter was thrilled to have me join her in her room on the roll away bed. That mattress is only five years old, and is much more comfortable for me. My back is still sore, but not as much.

So after about three weeks of this we became serious mattress shoppers. We went alone to Sit and Sleep, which seemed to have the largest show room of mattresses. My husband went first and marked a few beds that he liked. Then I finally got an opportunity to go and spend about half an hour there while he was en route to meet me.

I went in and Fred dressed in red sized me up in a heartbeat. I think he could tell just by how I was dressed how much I could spend and how soft of a mattress I might prefer. He led me to one of his best sellers that was moderately priced, and I thought it felt wonderful. But since I had to wait anyway, why not sample a few? I tried out the Tempurpedic, too hard to get up from. Regular Spring Mattresses, too firm. Latex Foam. Hmmm.... these were interesting. There was one for about five grand called "Bliss" that truly felt like I was resting on a cloud.

Now it's not a good idea to sample caviar and champagne if you're only allowed to order chicken and soda. I wanted to go for the "Bliss" based on the fact that we do, or at least I strive to, spend about thirty percent of our lives in bed. Wasn't it a good investment? Heck, if you prorated the cost of a five thousand dollar mattress over the course of twelve years, it would run a little more than one dollar a night, or about .12¢ an hour! But hey, No way! That mattress was not in the stars for me. Hubby found one that was just as comfortable to him at Wicke's for a fifth of the price, and that's what we bought. It's a natural Laytex Foam bed by Nature's Rest. With all of that money he saved he was able to buy new mattresses for our twins as well.

I had to travel to Wicke's to test it out before he would buy it. I did, and it was scheduled to be delived one week later which happened to be this morning. I had planned on going to the gym early, while my husband was still here, so I wouldn't have to race the mattress truck up our street in case they arrived before I got home. Well, not to worry. I was just dragging my tired body out of bed when the doorbell rang at 7:05! No, it couldn't be mattresses already! Sure enough it was. I went to the door to be greeted by a young mexican lad who couldn't have weighed more than 150 pounds. It must have scared the beejesus out of him to have been met at the door by a middle aged woman with smeared mascara down to her knees and morning breath, not to mention the hair thing! And those other things which were swaying in the wind waiting to be harnessed for the day! He'll probably never get married! I informed him that the boys were still on their old mattresses, but that I'd have them out in a jiffy. He carried the mattresses in all by himself.

My husband was thrilled to be home when the mattresses were delivered as he was very concerned about our new mattress not fitting into our waterbed frame properly. He had lectured me repeatedly about what to do if the mattress didn't fit. Have them take it back and on and on. I was getting pre mattress stress. I was so glad he was home to oversee the entire process so that I could not be blamed for any bad judgement calls.

So it's a done deal now, although we did fold up the bag just in case I don't like it after 90 days! I can't wait to get some beauty rest!

Jewel's Jokes

How can you spend hours on your homework every night, and yet get twelve hours sleep?

Put your homework underneath your mattress.

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Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?

A: An air mattress.

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At least now, Mr. Clinton, we understand why mattresses are discounted
every Presidents Day.

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MATHEMATICS

Even if you don't eat chocolate, do the math. It's quite a puzzle.

First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (try for more than once but less than 10)

Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)

Add 5. (for Sunday)

Multiply it by 50 - I'll wait while you get the calculator.

If you have already had your birthday this year add 1754.... If you haven't, add 1753 .

Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number ...

The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week

The next two numbers are:

YOUR AGE!

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS!

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ARE YOU A BITCH?
Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K., you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...
Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?'"
She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know...
Wash, Iron, Fetch, Etc."

A second gal answers their question before they even ask it, "B.I.T.C.H."

What exactly is a BITCH?!? they ask in unison.
"Babe In Total Control of Herself."

So ladies, next time somebody calls you a "Bitch" SMILE ... and say "Thank You!!"

****

Subject: Why men aren't secretaries


Husband's note on the fridge to his wife:

"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.

They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't know you liked beer."

****

Happy Father's Day!
June 7, 2004
Next Post date July 5, 2004
Look very closely. What do you see? View from a distance, now what do you see?
Muslim Toilet (Remind me never to visit!)
One step at a time!

Quotes:

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

-  Anonymous

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We must remain as close to the flowers, the grass, and the butterflies as the child is who is not yet so much taller than they are.

-  Friedrich Nietzsche

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If only truth and justice were the rule, there would be no need for mercy.

- Mendele, "Di Kliatshe"

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The Self is hidden in the hearts of all,
As butter lies hidden in cream. Realize
The Self in the depths of meditation -
The Lord of Love, supreme Reality,
Who is the goal of all knowledge.

-Shvetashvatara Upanishad

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Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil big enough to draw on the ceiling.

-  G.K. Chesterton

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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.

-  Doug Larson

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What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.

-  Ellen Burstyn

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Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment.

-  Jean de la Bruyere

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Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty. It merely moves from their faces to their hearts.

-  Martin Buxbaum

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The most effective antidote to temptation: shut the eyes.

- Ibn Gabirol, Mibhar HaPeninim

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'Twas her thinking of others that made you think of her.

-  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

-  Dale Carnegie

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The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

-  Doug Larson

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You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

-  Ralph Waldo Emerson

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