NUDE CRUISING!

It's HOT! And the time has come to compose the June blog. I was musing on Muse topics, and decided to go with a suggestion from my most faithful reader in Ventura. We had a lovely dinner together recently and were discussing myriad topics when my job came up. For those of you who don't know, I currently work for a travel insurance agency as a customer service representative. I like everything about the job except the compensation. I was explaining to my friend precisely what I do in that cubicle of mine besides surf the internet and email friends and family. One of my duties is to enroll applicants' travel insurance into the computer. They come in as phone orders, faxes and regular old snail mail forms. I then take them and enter the info into the computer and generate a purchase confirmation with a policy number which is then mailed to the client. Pretty boring stuff, but I get to talk to people and dream about all of the fabulous trips they get to take, that I might never afford on my measly salary. I brag about my past travels whenever I can. I've been around, you know. So that's how we got on the topic of Nude Cruising. God only knows what our husbands were so fervently discussing out back. Bathroom remodels or the like.

I explained that our office works with about 800 licensed travel agencies who book our insurance for their clients. While enrolling the applications, I noted that the old 80/20 rule was cetainly in effect. Twenty percent of the companies sold eighty percent of the insurance, and one company in particular, Omni Travel, aka Bare Necessities, seemed to have a thriving business. I didn't think much about it until one day, my co worker in the cubicle due East of me exclaimed, "Damn!! I am so sick and tired of enrolling old people on NUDE CRUISES!!!!"

What?!! I couldn't believe my ears!! Do people really do that? I had never heard of it. It's something so foreign to me. I could never, in my wildest dreams, concieve of doing such a thing. I was having a hard enough time sunbathing in my two piece bathing suit in the privacy of our own back yard! Hubby said I had to get some sun on the bread dough tum! He insisted I sunbathe in the two piece. Seemed to me that I had too much body and not quite enough suit. My kids were kind enough not to comment, and hubby was busy getting a haircut and brow plucking with a sweet young thing and missed it all, thank God! But a Nude Cruise letting it all hang free? Not for me. I would rather thrust toothpicks up my toenails.

The thing that is so amusing to me is that all of this nude cruising is being done by the sixty plus generation. The last couple I enrolled were seventy and seventy five! And more times than not, the woman is older than the man! It got me to thinking, these people were in their heyday in the swinging sixties and seventies, and now that they are sixty and seventy, they are still living that wild lifestyle. Let's see here.... my heyday was in the eighties and nineties. Will I resume disco dancing and spandex attire when I hit my eighties? If I hit my eighties, that is. Perish the thought.

So now I know that the people who call in for travel insurance from Omni Cruise are going in the buff. For the most part they sound the same as every"body" else. Usually really happy about their upcoming trip, and booking it all way in advance. They spend about $1000.00 for a week on a cruiseliner, usually in the Caribbean, and about $200.00 for the insurance in case they need to cancel or receive medical treatment during the trip. And they are repeat customers.

It just got the better of my curiosity one day, and I decided to ask this friendly gal to tell me a little about the experience. I asked, "So, do you like just walk naked everywhere you go? Do you eat in the dining room naked?" She exclaimed,"No! That would be disgusting! It's more like nude sumbathing on the deck and in the pool and such. We wear clothes when we go to the dining room." Thank god! I would hope someone regularly sanitizes those lounge chairs! It gets hot out there, and people sweat. Eeewwwwww. You can call me Gertrude the Prude who hates being nude. Actually, I am just schrewd about being nude, not really a prude, but i'm glad i'm not a dude, cause when they are nude, it can get lewd! Tee hee hee. Just had to have a bit of fun with that.

So, still my curiosity was not slaked (fourth grade vocab word). I decided to peek at their web site. The logo alone made me giggle. Geeze! these folks are shameless. I envy that. They play volleyball in the nude on a boat in their seventies! There are worse things to be sure, but the visual on that is horrifying. Heh heh heh. Now, Dad, I know you are approaching seventy, if I find out you've been cruising with Bare Necessities, i'll be shocked!

Oh mah Gawd!

The relaxation that you will feel at a club of the American Association for Nude Recreation is the result of one of the healthiest trends of our times...accepting ourselves for who we are and feeling comfortable with our own bodies. Experiencing who you are inside is more important than what you show on the outside.As nude recreation becomes more openly accepted in our society, more and more women are discovering what it is really like.

Nude recreation can be a getaway from the pressures of daily life. You will find that those who enjoy nude recreation come from all walks of life, people who feel at home with their bodies and enjoy sharing the experience with others. The relaxed, stress free environment of AANR clubs provides an enriching and supportive environment for all woman.

If you are a newcomer to nude recreation, you may have difficulty imagining how wonderful it feels. It doesn't matter. Once you take the plunge you will quickly discover it is a natural, life enhancing experience. It's the most normal thing in the world. That's why so many people remark, "What took me so long?"

Consider taking a very natural, stress free break from your life. Take and afternoon, a weekend or an extended vacation, and leave the excess baggage at home. Visit a nudist facility where chic means no fashion at all.

***

Nudist One Liners
A naked man fears no pickpocket.
Bare butts are cool.
A nudist never has to hold out his hand to see if it is raining.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.
A harp is a nude piano.
Nudist Resort sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
Always swim nude. Sharks hate to peel their food.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Never cook bacon when you're naked.
Senior Citizen Nude Beach ahead. Watch for Golden Oldies

***

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen

donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

***


 

 

THE NUDIST

 

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look too long."

***

Have you ever noticed how a little child can run naked through a room full of strangers without embarrassment? Just as Adam and Eve were not embarrassed in their innocence. But after Adam and Eve sinned, shame and awkwardness followed, creating barriers between themselves and God. Ideally  we have no barriers, feeling no embarrassment between each other or God. But, like Adam and Eve, we put on fig leaves (barriers) because we have areas we don't want anyone or God to know about. Then we hide, just as Adam and Eve hid from God. Jesus died for our sins so there is no longer any barriers we need to have. Jesus told us to be like little children in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
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How is it possible for the human body, which was created in the image of god, to be offensive to anybody? Satan would love to see God's greatest creation be considered offensive.
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Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves. --Thomas Fuller
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"A child who has never been allowed to see his parents and brothers and sisters naked sees nudity as something shocking." - Dr. Helga Fleischhauer-Hardt
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When wearing only a smile - be sure to smile a lot.
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"If we were meant to be nude, we would have been born that way."
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"What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?" - Michaelangelo

June 6, 2005
Next Post date July 4, 2005
Muslim Toilet (Remind me never to visit!)
Here's another fun link to visit: http://www.nudecrewz.net/

Bare Necessities Tour & Travel is the only company in the world offering clothes-free vacations on major cruise ships - and we've been doing it for 14 years! Star Clippers, Cunard, Windsong and Carnival are among the cruise lines that have welcomed our passengers at ports of call throughout the world. Our 2005/2006 schedule promises to bring us to some of the most exciting and beautiful destinations on earth aboard the most luxurious vessels we have chartered to date!


We are so excited about our 2006 cruise schedule. In February 2006 we have chartered the 2,000 passenger Costa Mediterranea from Ft. Lauderdale which will bring us to the Caribbean. And a first in our 15 year history, 14 days sailing through the Panama Canal onboard the Windstar. In the Summer of 2005 we will spend 10 days in the Eastern Mediterranean sailing the coasts of Italy, Croatia, and Greece. Click on the links above to find out more about our exciting new products!

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Nude Sunbathing
Down in Florida, there's a little hotel, four floors high. A girl used to take a sunbathe there every day. Since there were no higher hotels near it, she would take off her bathing suit and be in the nude. So she was in the nude and she was lying on her stomach, and she heard someone coming up the steps. She quickly grabbed the towel and put it around her. The man said, "I wish you wouldn't sunbathe in the nude up here." She said, "You never protested before." He said, "No, but I wish you would do it like you did before, in your bathing suit." She said, "Why do you care? No one can see." He said, "Madam, you happen to be lying on the skylight of a dining room."

***

Beware of Gay Nudists
A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.

"It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "Count me in!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off.

As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, 'Beware of Gays.

A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing, 'Beware of Gays.'

He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said,

'Sorry, you've had two warnings!'

***

Old Nudists
There were a couple of old gals in the local nursing home who were getting a little bored with the lack of excitement in their surroundings. They decided to liven things up and took their clothes off and walked through the local male gathering area in the buff. One of the men poked the other one and asked if he had seen what just went by. The other replied yep he had seen it and whatever it was it sure did need ironing

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Parents and son on a Nude Beach

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"

The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." Once again the son goes back to play. A short time later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

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THINGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN...

Benjamin Franklin, U. S. statesman and inventor and --John Adams, U. S. President
Franklin, would you believe, was a practicing 18th century nudist! He took his "air baths" by sitting in the buff in front of an open window.  President Adams regularly swam nude in the Potomac river.  Anne Royall, a journalist, heard of Adam's early morning skinny dips.  After being refused interviews with the President several times, she went to the river, gathered his clothes and sat on them until he agreed to speak to her. Before this, no woman journalist had ever interviewed a president.  (Way to go, Annie!)
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Fred Rogers, creator and star of the children's program Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was 71 years old; has been married to his wife for 48 years; is an ordained Presbyterian minister; and took a morning swim every day in the nude.

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