Onward and Forward

I've just experienced one of those ugly moments of life. I actually went on a job interview yesterday. It went well. I wore my one suit, and was well prepared with resume and references. I even downloaded their application in PDF format and filled it out on the computer so that it would look nice and neat. I was asked by the first two gals to return the next day (today) for interview number two. I had to miss two workouts with Ramin over at Exotic Image to fulfill this request! I was excited about the prospect of getting a full-time job so close to home in a pleasant working environment, although I knew there would be many hurdles. The last time I got a part-time job, my middle son nearly broke his neck sock skiing in the kitchen. I had to receive many phone calls from my husband and various specialists at my job, which caused me to inadvertently go over my alloted cell phone minutes, and I had to pay a chunk of change to T-Mobile, rather defeating the purpose of working in the first place!

So today, I got all gussied up and drove on over for interview number two. All my ducks seemed to be in a row. I was well rested and didn't feel nearly as nervous as I had for the first interview. I went in and made clever banter with the head honcho. I felt as though I had responded intelligently to his queries. I am more than qualified for the job. My main duties would consist of micro managing his schedule and other various light office duties. Heck, I micro manage six people's lives as it is. What's one more? At least I'd be getting paid for it.

After the interview I went to family day at the school and then on to Trader Joe's for eggs and milk. I knew the phone machine would be flashing when I got inside and indeed it was. I had a good feeling. So much for women's intuition. After some hemming and hawing, one of the poor women who interviewed me had to inform me that the honcho had selected the other candidate. It just took my whole day down. It's not so much that I really wanted the job. It's just the fact that someone else had the power to decide my fate that opened my can. How could I help but doubt myself? What did this other candidate have to offer that I hadn't? Did I come off like a doofus? Did I refer to my family one time too many? Did I appear unreliable? Was I dressed wrong? Were there typos in my resume? Would it have mattered if I had worn better shoes? It's the not knowing that really gets to me.

Granted I do have my spies, and I found out that the other candidate has a Master's degree in English, and is published, and is on the career track (whatever that's supposed to mean). But do they know how to use it? And how sad is it that a person with a Master's degree in English is applying for a temporary full-time position that pays peanuts? I wish them all the best, but my ego secretly wants them to fail. Egos are awful. Why do we have them? I keep reading all of this Zen crap that desire is the root of all misery. It is true. If you want not, you will not be disappointed.

I know that it just wasn't in the cards for me, but how I wish that I'd kept my big mouth shut and had not told the universe that I was going on a job interview. Now they will all know that I didn't get the job. Not that I really care what anyone thinks, but I must. What are the comments going to be? Oh, you didn't get the job? Why? Uh, I really don't know. Perhaps it had something to do with all of that Indian food I had for lunch the day before.... Maybe I said "um," too many times... Really, I'm destined to be a mommy and toilet bowl cleaner. Maybe I should pursue cleaning houses. I'd probably garner more respect.

Speaking of cleaning houses, the frosting on the day was when I went into the laundry room to transfer the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. How it happened I do not know, but the entire container of Tide Liquid, the largest size they make, had toppled off of the washer on to the tiny section of floor in between the washer and dryer. Of course the plastic lid had shattered, and there was a puddle of blue liquid sprawling out under the brand new machines. My gawd! My son said, "Gee mom, you are having a bad day." And then he helped me clean it all up. At least I can boast that the floor in my laundry room is clean. Bet the other candidate's isn't! Ha!

Cool 3-D Chalk Drawing

What Gender Is It?

If you're like most people, common everyday items look neutral to you..
But what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For

1) Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.

2) Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female....... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.



How can you tell if two adults eating dinner are in love?
If the man picks up the check.
They only stare at each other, other people care more about the food.
They are dressed up, if they aren't they just broke up.
How do people in love typically behave? Like my dog.
They fall down after they kiss and don't get up for an hour.
What is falling in love like?
Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.
If it's like math I don't want to do it, it takes too long.
What are people thinking when they say "I love you."
"Hurry up so we can go eat."
"I don't love him."
How do two people fall in love?
One of them has freckles, so he finds another person with freckles.
You get shot with an arrow, but the rest isn't that painful.
How do you stay in love?
Be a good kisser.
Don't forget your wife's name.

February 2, 2004
One step at a time!

The Kiss Defined:

The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.


A kiss is now attestedly a quite innocuous performance, with nothing very fearful about it one way or the other. It even has its pleasant side.

-James Branch Cabell

Great kisses do not involve a lot of thinking. Great kisses are about feeling.

-Steve Friedman

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become too superfluous.

-Ingrid Bergman

What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve:

The sure, sweet cement, glue, and lime of love.

-Robert Herrick

Some women blush when they are kissed; some call for the police; some swear; some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.


You don't know how to kiss and flirt unless you do it.

-Deborah Thurston

It is the passion that is in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

-Christian Nestell Bovee

A thing of use to no one, but prized by two.

-Robert Zwickey

O love, thy kiss would wake the dead!

-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Lord, I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing!

-Jonathan Swift

You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there...

-Bernard De Voto

A word invented by the poets as a thyme for "bliss."

-Ambrose Bierce

Wherever one wants to be kissed.

-Coco Chanel

(When asked where one should wear perfume.)

Stolen kisses are always the sweetest.

-Leigh Hunt

The doctor must have put my pacemaker in wrong. Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up.

-Minnie Pearl

Click on the picture to view this month's mystery feature.

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Next Post Date: March 1, 2004

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