Monday Morning Muse

Parent Teen !

My husband and I have only recently entered into the arena of twin teen parenting. I must say, we haven't hit many snags yet. Not meaning to brag, (but I will anyway), the boys have been just great! They are good students, well liked by all, well behaved, compassionate, considerate boys. And even though I am their mother, I will add that they are both GORGEOUS! And this summer, just a mere 2 days after graduating from 8th grade, they officially began attending high school summer school. Sigh….. my little boys aren't so little anymore.

We threw them a nice little grad party with a Mexican theme menu, and they received many generous monetary gifts and some much needed new backpacks. Now one of the boys is pretty good about bringing his belongings home and keeping things organized. The other guy, well, uh..... if it ain't attached, it ain't likely to come home. He's lucky he was born a twin, and has his brother to count on to bring home important assignments and forms. It's not that he's the least bit lazy or inept, things just don't always get where they need to be on board his person. He lost a pair of Old Navy jeans for God's sake! I don't even want to know! At least he's not the twin with a girlfriend heh, heh, heh.

Anyway, anticipating a possible lost backpack containing exorbitantly priced textbooks, I took it upon myself to write his name in big black Sharpie letters on the back of his light gray brand new backpack, just in case. I didn't bother to do the same to his brother's because I didn't see the need. No one said anything until my husband came home. Seeing my personalization of the bag, he screeched, "Dear!!!!! Why did you do that?!!!! I've already put their names on the inside of the
packs!!!! They are in HIGH SCHOOL now! He's going to get teased!!!" Uh oh. Guilty of over mothering again. Sigh. Well, the deed was done, and I didn’t have time to locate a cool racing sticker to attempt to hide my handiwork. My son didn’t seem too fazed. He patted me on the shoulder and said, “Don’t worry ma, if I get teased, I’ll just say, ‘hey! That’s my name! What’s yo game?’” He just had that handy in less than a second.

So off they went to their first day of summer school at the high school. There were many stories to be told on the ride home. The boy with his name on his back pack was a huge hit! Three junior girls surrounded him almost immediately and nominated him cutest incoming freshman. His quieter twin brother was smirking when he recounted how they kept pinching his brother’s cheek while squealing about how cute he was. I asked him if he was missing some of that attention, and he was quick to reply that he was ever so grateful that his brother was getting all of the attention because he would not appreciate being touched by people he didn’t know well! Fancy that! I didn’t dare ask how he would welcome advances from those he knew well!

The next day I got to hear about how the girls ran into the Biology class and wrote, “We love you _ _ _!” all over the chalk board before he made it to the classroom. You see, he was busy chatting, so they had time to do this. Fortunately, the Biology teacher is a nice man, and my son is a good student so there was no trouble.

The next story was really quite funny. Since his name is there like a badge, people know who he is, but he doesn’t necessarily know who they are. Another girl called him over and asked him if he was “into” Asian chicks because her friend was interested! He was a tad taken aback. I couldn’t handle it! “What did you say?” I demanded. He said that he replied, “Uh…… I guess so.” Then he added, “How was I supposed to respond? I don’t want to come off as a racist!”

Oh the stresses of high school! I asked his brother again if he might be feeling a bit left out, and he said, “Nah, not at all. It’s just that I have that already-have-a-girlfriend look in my eye!” Whoa Nellie! He met his gal last summer at a CSUN computer summer school class. I guess they met each other. I just remember that it was a rough beginning. I thought my husband had paid, and he thought I had paid, so I had to leave the poor guy in a huge registration line in the office while I ran home to check the checkbook losing my watch in the process. By the time I returned, the classes he wanted were full and he ended up in a computer class where he met his lady friend. When I went to pick him up, he had a huge grin and eagerly told me how she also had a Mac computer, watched all the same shows as he and played the same games. Soul mates at twelve! They’ve been busy instant messaging and having play dates, no, that’s not the right term…. dates, no not quite that either… uh friendship visits (?) for the past year. My husband and I adore her. I feel like I’ve known her mom for years. They live nearby, and I think we’ll be friends forever.

It’s funny how the quiet guy got the girl without even thinking about it. It would seem that his “younger” twin is right behind him. All I know is that it sure is entertaining to watch them. It must really be odd for my hubby since they are going to the same high school he attended. Must bring back a lot of memories. These are different times than the times we had growing up. No cell phones, no instant messaging, no Sims games to practice on. How ever did we manage to meet, develop a relationship and get married? What’s going to happen when my princess goes to high school? At least I have a bit of time to prepare.

Please take a moment to say a prayer for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, and the heroes who are there helping. The devastation is a reminder that life is fragile and no one knows what's in store.

Jewel

Weird Town Names

Bigfoot, Texas, USA
Blow Me Down, Newfoundland, Canada
Bonanza, Colorado, USA
Celebration, FL, USA
Chicken, Alaska, USA
Climax, Michigan, USA
Crackpot, England
Crotch Lake, Ontario, Canada
Cut and Shoot, Texas, USA
Deadhorse, Alaska, USA
Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada
Ding Dong, Texas, USA
Earth, Texas, USA
Egypt, Texas, USA
F**king, Austria
French Lick, Indiana, USA
Frostproof, Florida, USA
Gun Barrel City, Texas, USA
Half.com, Oregon, USA
Happy, Texas, USA
Hell, Michigan, USA
Holy Moses, Colorado, USA
Hot Coffee, Missouri, USA
Humansville, Missouri, USA
Hygiene, Colorado, USA
Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA

Jot 'em Down, Texas, USA
Knockemstiff, Ohio, USA
Last Chance, Colorado, USA
Looneyville, Texas, USA
Mary's Igloo, Alaska, USA
Monkey's Eyebrow, Arizona, USA
Nameless, Texas, USA
Needmore, Texas, USA
Ninety-Six, South Carolina, USA
North Pole, Alaska, USA
Nothing, Arizona, USA
Notrees, Texas, USA
Okay, Oklahoma, USA
Santa Claus, Indiana, USA
Shorter, Alabama, USA
Smackover, Arkansas, USA
Sopchoppy, Florida, USA
Study Butte, Texas, USA
Toad Suck, Arkansas, USA
Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, USA
Two Egg, Florida, USA
Valentine, Texas, USA
Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Waterproof, Louisiana, USA
Why, Arizona, USA

Name Puns We'd All Like To See

1. - If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

2. - If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

3. - If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah
      Chopra.

4. - If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced
      him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John
      Newton John.

5. - If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to
      marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness
      Munster.

6. - If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

7. - If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be
      Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

8. - Nog (Quark's nephew on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has
      no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a
      marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then
      Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.

9. - If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean
      (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM),
      and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be
      Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

10. - If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and
      married Gregory Peck (hey, it's the 2000's), divorced him
      and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

11. - If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even
      further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then
      divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and
      married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod
      understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers
      Lucky Short Guy."

Quotes

Wisdom and power follow endurance and patience.

-The Prophet Muhammad, as reported by Abu Sayeed al-Khodri

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Everything has to be the way it is and could not possibly be any other way.

-Maharamayana

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There may be more to learn from climbing the same mountain a hundred times than by climbing a hundred different mountains.

-Richard Nelson

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Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

-T.S. Eliot

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Without envy, the world could not abide, for none would marry or build a house.

- Midrash Tehillim

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If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure.

-Robert Hillyer

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Brain Teasers

1. An electric train is traveling southwest at 95 miles per hour, and
the wind is blowing north east at 95 miles per hour. In which
direction does the smoke blow?

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2. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

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3. A man has recently escaped from prison and is making his way home on foot. He is walking along a straight rural country lane in bright daylight. He has walked about two miles from the prison, when he sees a police car coming toward him. Despite knowing that all squads would be out looking for him, he ran towards the car for a short while, and only when he was about ten feet away, did he turn and run into the woods to hide. Why did he run towards the police car?

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4. With thieves I consort, With the vilest, in short, I'm quite at my
ease in depravity; Yet all divines use me, And savants can't lose
me, For I am the center of gravity. Who or what am I???

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5. A man meets two men at two doors. A sign above the two doors
says, "One door leads to eternal bliss, while one leads to certain
peril. One of these men always lies, while one always tells the
truth." You may ask only one question. What question do you ask to
be certain that you get to the room with eternal bliss?

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Answers:

1. There is no smoke. It is an electric train.

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2. Once.

After the first calculation, you will be subtracting 5 from 20,
then 5 from 15, and so on.

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3. The man is on a bridge when he spots the police car.
He's more than halfway across, so the quickest way off the bridge is to run forward.

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4. The letter "V".

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5.
He asks them, "If I ask the other man which way to go, what would his answer be?" They would both answer in the same way. Whatever the answer is, go the other way. If the man you ask always tells the truth, then the other always lies. The man you ask will tell truthfully that the answer would be the wrong way. If the man you ask always lies, then the other man tells the truth. The man you ask will lie and tell you that the other man would tell you the wrong way. In both cases the answer you would receive would be the wrong way. Go the other way.

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