Service With A Smile

It seems a good customer service rep often goes unnoticed, but a bad one is never forgotten. Not really, I actually got a hug from a little gal in the library whom I had helped to locate a much loved DVD. She was so happy she almost cried, and all of this thanks to her trusty dusty library card. I will never forget the fantastic service I received from Nintendo's customer service many moons ago. I had called to order some Gameboy battery cover replacements, and they gladly mailed me two at no charge, not even postage! Now that's customer service. And I can't forget about the guy at the Gap who recently spent 20 minutes tracking down the last available pair of boot cut, dark denimn jeans in my, uh, "size". God bless him! I don't groove on those low cut jeans. Especially when I spend half of my work shift squatting down replacing books on their shelves. I don't intend to feature my forty-four year old fanny fissure to anyone!Okay, enough about that. So I do remember the exceptionally good custormer service experiences, but I think the bad experiences provide for far better entertainment.

Take my recent In N Out burger ordering experience. There are six in our family, each with distinct tastes. I was already edgy because the kids voted out a real dinner in a restaurant in favor of the burgers. Hubby, who normally handles this task was covered in army-green paint, so I was nominated to forage for grub. I tried to wiggle out of it by offering to whip up a quick batch of spaghetti, but they would have none of that.

I carefully wrote down everyone's burger choices, and drove to In N Out. It irks me that I have to actually pass it, go down to the next street, make a U turn and then wait in a huge line. I got in line behind a big truck and settled in. I decided I had time to call my mom on my cell phone. Well, wouldn't ya just know it..... as soon as I rang her up, the line proceded to move at quantum speed. Had to rush mama off the phone.

I was greeted by the order taker, "Welcome to In N Out. What would you like to order?" I replied," I want 7 cheesburgers, 3 of them meat cheese and bun only, three of them add grilled onions and mustard, and one regular." She replied," We don't have 'regular' do you want onions with that?" I said that I did not. No onions on that burger. She then proceded to repeat back my order to me saying, "Okay, 5 cheeseburgers, 3 plain, and two with grilled onions." Oh mah Gawd! No!!! I took a deep breath and told her to scratch that, I was going to do this burger thing one at a time. I started with the three plain burgers and confirmed that she got that down. I then proceeded to the three with added grilled onions and mustard. So far 6 burgers. I then ordered a cheesburger with no added mustard or onions. Then I ventured on to order two vanilla and one chocolate "malts". "We don't have any 'malts' here ma'm." I asked if the machine was broken on this evening. "No, we have 'shakes' here." I then replied that I would like two vanilla and one chocolate "shakes" and three orders of fries, which had no size or stylistic options.

After what seemed like an eternity, I thought it was mission accomplished. I drove up to the window, and of course I was on the driver's side opposite the window, and I had no helpers with me. She handed me two shakes, one vanilla and one chocolate. I told her that I ordered two vanilla shakes, but before I could finish, she said,"You don't want the chocolate one?" I took another breath and told her I did indeed want the chocolate shake, but that I had ordered two vanilla shakes and one chocolate shake for a total of three shakes. After going around in circles for a bit, she informed me that I hadn't been charged for that third shake. I asked if I could pay for it now and she finally agreed. I then inspected my burger bag, counted 7 burgers and three fries and got the hell outta there!

It would have been so much easier to just cook the damn spaghetti. At least they got the burger order correct. In all fairness, I must say that I have never had an experience at In N Out like this before. McDonald's? Yes. Wendy's? Don't get me started. I will NEVER go there again. Hubby was tickled by my tale. He smugly informed me that I had gone about it all wrong, and proceeded to tell me how he does the burger ordering. Cool. He can have that duty and I will continue to clean the cat box. Fair enough.

Then there are those "courtesy callers". I think they should update their name to "rudness ringers" or something to that nature. Here is how a recent call went down at our house. I was in the middle of cooking four separate dinners while packing lunches, feeding the goldfish and dog, and helping with homework. Then the phone rang. It was some telemarketer calling to let us know about a credit card protection plan. I impatiently cut her off mid sentence by saying, "I need to go now, so I don't want to hear the rest of your speech. No we are not interested in any protection plans at this time." She replied, "It's NOT a speech ma'm. It's a courtesy call...blah blah blah......" I wanted to tell her that it wasn't very courteous to keep talking while my dinner burned, but instead I said, "I am trying to be polite, but you're not working with me here, so I am going to hang up.", and I promptly did. We are on the do not call list, but these "courtesy calls" don't quite fit the "sales" category, so they slip through. I know the gal was only doing her job. I can only imagine what she hears during the course of her shift. I could have opted to let the machine answer the call, but at that time, my hubby usually calls and I didn't want him to get the machine when he is used to my melodious voice cheerfully picking up the phone at that hour. Wait, did I say "melodious?" Heh heh heh.

I've concluded that some days I am just on another planet and have trouble communicating with anyone. It doesn't matter how clearly I think I am phrasing my words. The message just doesn't go through. I don't take it personally anymore. In a society that is becoming more and more automated and culturally diverse, it's nice to actually deal with humans who even speak English now and then. Most of them are nice.

You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get >From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?!

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.


20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? !
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

7 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be
almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the toothache.


Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:
1. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
2. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
3. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

June 5, 2006
Next Post date July 4, 2006
Muslim Toilet (Remind me never to visit!)

Quotes:

Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you.

-Robert Fulghum

***

If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you, look at yourself in the present, for that is the past’s effect. If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the present, for that is the cause of the future.

-Majjhima Nikaya

***

If we were to walk in the woods and a spring appeared just when we became thirsty, we would call it a miracle. And if on a second walk, if we became thirsty at just that point again, and again the spring appeared, we would remark on the coincidence. But if that spring were there always, we would take it for granted and cease to notice it. Yet is that not more miraculous still?

- Baal Shem Tov

***

One filled with joy preaches without preaching.

-Mother Teresa

***

Worry is a misuse of the imagination.

-Dan Zadra

***

It is more serious to lose hope than to sin.

-John of Carpathos

***

When we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We're discovering the universe.

-Pema Chodron

***

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian.

- Rabbi Harold Kushner, "When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough," paraphrasing Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan

***

Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

***

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER
 

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.


Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.
 

Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
 

A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often
over-inflated.
 

A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of
course, there's the hot air part.
 

Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
 

A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting
hit on.
 

A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick people up.
 

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.
 

A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have
around.
 

A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a
man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying!

Click on the picture to view this month's mystery feature.

Click here to download the QuickTime Player if you don't have it. Remember, if you have dial up, the movie will take a few minutes to load!

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