***just for the record- the image above is for entertainment only and does not reflect my personal views regarding the people pictured***

Tell The Truth Or Someone Will Tell It For You

I had a profound thought the other day, I won't get into the details as to what exactly provoked it, but I think it is worthy of a Muse, so here goes:

There is nothing that a liar despises more than being exposed, and there is nothing the exposer despises more that being exposed as the exposer!

OK- I will do my best to try to flesh this out. Upon first thought, it seems the intents are vastly different, one person is attempting to communicate an untruth ( the liar ) and the other person is trying to communicate the truth ( the exposer a.k.a. the blabbermouth ). But the actions are really quite the same, as both the liar and the exposer are indeed communicating information to others, in an attempt to share information, in order to make an impression upon the recipient of the information. Consider political campaigns for example. Oftentimes it is very difficult to tell fact from fiction.

Sometimes the liar does not have bad intentions, but simply wants to tell their story as they wish it had been ( Brian Williams???) A kind of do over. But doggone it, then the blabbermouth comes along and exposes their untruth! The liar is left in the awkward position of attempting to justify their lie. But before attempting to justify the reason for the lie- didn't want to tell the truth and risk hurting feelings- wanted the recipient to hear a different version of what happened so that a different opinion is formed ( manipulation ) etc.-many times the liar will first respond to the fact that they have been exposed- with anger toward the exposer. This is a great example of distraction and oftentimes will help the liar avoid having to explain why they lied in the first place.

Now the exposer is put into a similarly awkward position of having to justify why they felt the need to expose the liar's lie- but before attempting to justify their reason of exposing the lie- they felt that the truth should be known- they were trying to protect the recipient of the lie, etc.- the exposer becomes angry that they were exposed for exposing! Yes- this is a triangle as at least three people are necessitated for this to transpire: Person A lies to Person B. Person C exposes the lie to Person B. Person B then confronts Person A. Person A then becomes angry with Person C. Person C then becomes offended that Person B would tell Person A who the myth buster was! But if Person A had never lied to Person B in the first place, then Person C would not have had any need to become involved. This is just the simplest scenario- think of the examples given in Math texts- as the real equation is often much more complicated with many variables and could involve more people or even less!

So which is the worse offense- the lying or the exposing? I think it really depends on the intent. Did Brian Williams really hurt anyone with his lies? Not in my opinion. But once exposed, some action had to be taken, and he lost his job.

What about the mean doctor who got busted for hating on the patient on which she was performing a colonoscopy- commenting during the surgery that she was going to put in his chart that he had hemorrhoids even though he did not- because he had annoyed her during the pre op? Unbeknownst to her, the patient had left his cell phone on record, and he later heard all of the comments which were being made while he was under anesthesia! She had to pay $500,000.

What about the friend who lied and said she had to work on Saturday but was then spied at the spa? Maybe she just needed a down day and didn't want to risk any hurt feelings. But once exposed she risked her integrity.

People lie for all sorts of reasons. And people expose for all sorts of reasons. I usually prefer the ugly truth to an attractive lie, but not everyone does. The thing about the truth is that it exists outside of belief. Even if nobody believes it, that thing is still true. So there can be truth without deception, but there cannot be deception without truth. I believe that this makes truth the more powerful of the two forms of communication. You can't often tell a lie yet expect people to trust you. But you can often tell the truth and expect that people will not doubt you.

It's a well known paradigm that what people say, what people do, and what people say they do can be three entirely different things. We want our partners, friends and family to have a positive image of us, so when we know that our actions might cause disappointment, which could easily be avoided with just a few minor changes to the story, we tell a lie. It can save us a lot of hassle so long as our lie is not found out, but when our bluff is called, the hassle that ensues is often much greater than the original hassle might have been had we just told the truth in the first place. When we can believe in ourselves and trust those around us enough to tell the truth this is when real communication can take place. And remember, if you don't tell the truth, someone else is liable to tell it for you!

Recipe:

The low-carb-low-fat-low-cal-low-sodium-delicious-Tuna-Wrap

Mix together:

1- 4 oz can water packed white tuna

1 teaspoon hot mustard

2 tablespoons light mayo

1/4 cup diced cucumber

1/4 cup diced celery

1/4 cup diced tomatoes

1 tbsp diced red onion

Microwave 2 whole wheat low carb tortillas for about 15 seconds, fill with the tuna salad and enjoy.

Quotes

When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. ~Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner, 2003

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The truth brings with it a great measure of absolution, always. ~R.D. Laing

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Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened. ~Winston Churchill,

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If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it. ~Author Unknown

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The truth is more important than the facts. ~Frank Lloyd Wright

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Like all valuable commodities, truth is often counterfeited. ~James Cardinal Gibbons

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Dare to be honest and fear no labor. ~Robert Burns

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Respect for the truth is an acquired taste. ~Mark Van Doren, Liberal Education, 1943

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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on. ~Winston Churchill

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Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

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If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

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A lie is just the truth waiting to be itself. ~Terri Guillemets

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It is not without good reason said, that he who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying. ~Michel de Montaigne, translated from French

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People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty. ~Richard J. Needham

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There is always a way to be honest without being brutal. ~Arthur Dobrin

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If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. ~Bertrand Russell

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Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. ~Author Unknown

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When truth is divided, errors multiply. ~Eli Siegel, Damned Welcome

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Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson

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Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

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A little candor never leaves me. It is what protects me. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

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Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault

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It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian. ~John Updike

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No mask like open truth to cover lies,
As to go naked is the best disguise.
~William Congreve

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Reality is bad enough. Why should I tell the truth? ~Patrick Sky

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Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. ~Slovenian Proverb

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Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up. ~Author Unknown

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The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson

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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde

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Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

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The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

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July 6, 2015

Quotes

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. ~Henry Louis Mencken, A Little Book in C Major, 1916

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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain

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Who lies for you will lie against you. ~Bosnian Proverb

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No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. ~Abraham Lincoln

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Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world. ~Thomas Carlyle

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A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

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A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie. ~Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment

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Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it. ~Robert Brault

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Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~Austin O'Malley

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The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle

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The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

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Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie: A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby. ~George Herbert

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With lies you may get ahead in the world — but you can never go back. ~Russian proverb

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Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. ~Josh Billings

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The hardest tumble a man can take is to fall off his own bluff. ~Ambrose Bierce

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A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. ~Edgar J. Mohn

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When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback. ~Bill Copeland

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Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. ~Mark Twain

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Honesty is never seen sitting astride the fence. ~Lemuel K. Washburn

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A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown

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I never lie because I don't fear anyone. You only lie when you're afraid. ~John Gotti

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Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

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A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
~William Blake (1757-1827), "Auguries of Innocence"

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We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams

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Truth fears no questions. ~Unknown

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There are only two ways of telling the complete truth — anonymously and posthumously. ~Thomas Sowell

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Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson

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I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. ~Samuel Butler, Note-Books, 1912

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There is no well-defined boundary between honesty and dishonesty. The frontiers of one blend with the outside limits of the other, and he who attempts to tread this dangerous ground may be sometimes in one domain and sometimes in the other. ~O. Henry, Rolling Stones, 1912

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Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. ~Oliver Wendell

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. ~Saki

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