The Need For Validation 2016

I found myself musing on the role that Father's play in our lives since June is the month of Father's Day. So, first, Happy Father's Day!!!! Oddly, one of the first things which came to mind was Validation. First, the birth of the child validates the father, and then, if all works out well, the father will in turn validate the child. What I meant to say is that with regard to biological parenting, the mother does not need to be validated, as there is no question that the child is hers, since she carries it in her womb. The father, on the other hand, could be a bit of a mystery in certain situations. He becomes validated when the child is born with his DNA.

This morning I read an Ask Amy in the paper about an expecting mother who had been away on holiday, and had been seduced by her masseuse who was of a noticeably different race! She had the blood test done at her doctor's and learned that the baby's blood was not a match for either her or her husband! Of course her secret would be obvious as soon as the baby was born. She was asking for advice on how to proceed! She feared her husband might leave her if she fessed up to her infidelity. Oh my. One bad decision often leads to another. Of course Amy advised that she must come clean with her husband, and the sooner the better. This was a rerun from 2007. I wonder how that nine year old child is doing now and if the masseuse who sired the child has others or even knows if they exist!

But back to validation. The baby is born, and the grandmothers inspect its earlobes and count fingers and toes all the while looking for hints as to whose DNA is reflected on the outside of the bundle of joy. The real beauty is that the outside package can genetically favor one parent while the inside can reflect the personality, preferences, propensities, intellect, and attitude of the other! The miracle is that the possibilities are endless! It's a five-star drama to witness the little life unfold and a blessing to be the nurturing part of that. A rose seed will grow into a rose bush, but a baby will grow into an adult with so much potential.

My father's second wife often reminds me of how fortunate I am to have had such great parents. She believes that children's confidence and self-esteem or lack thereof bears a direct correlation with their relationship with their father. So here we end up with the second validation. The father validates his children. He not only gives them life and a name, but if he takes his fatherhood seriously, he confirms their very existence. He provides them with love, protection, education, food, shelter, and as many other commodities as he is able. And the cycle repeats! How beautiful!


Jamaican Beef Patties


2 cups flour

1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup shortening

1/3 cup water

2 tablespoons butter

1 pound ground beef

1 small onion, finely diced

1 teaspoon curry powder

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1/2 cup beef broth

1 egg, beaten


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). In a large bowl, combine flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder, and pinch of salt. Cut in 1/4 cup butter and shortening until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in water until mixture forms a ball. Shape dough into a log, and cut into 10 equal sections. Roll each section into a six inch circle (approximately 1/8 inch thick). Set aside.

2. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Saute onion until soft and translucent. Stir in ground beef. Season with 1 teaspoon curry powder, thyme, 1 teaspoon salt, and pepper. Cook until beef is evenly brown, stirring constantly. Stir in beef broth and bread crumbs. Simmer until liquid is absorbed. Remove from heat.

3.Spoon equal amounts of filling into each pastry circle. Fold over and press edges together, making a half circle. Use a fork to press edges, and brush the top of each patty with beaten egg.

4.Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes, or until golden brown.

More Quotes:

The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature. ~Antoine-François, Abbé Prévost d’Exiles


The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, "Daddy, I need to ask you something," he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. ~Garrison Keillor


I love my father as the stars — he’s a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. ~Terri Guillemets


Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. "Do you believe there is a devil?" asked one. "No," said the other promptly. "It’s like Santa Claus: it’s your father." ~Nebelspalter (Zurich, Switzerland), quoted in The Literary Digest, Vol.106, 1930


Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown


My daddy, he was somewhere between God and John Wayne. ~Hank Williams, Jr.


Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities


Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor


Even in the best father-son relationships, there's an uncomfortable familiarity that inhibits us from talking like friends. ~Joe Kita, "Introduction," Wisdom of Our Fathers, 1999


The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. ~Robert Frost


Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren’t through being children. ~Cindy Garner


Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. ~Reed Markham


There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994


I killed the monsters. That's what fathers do. ~F.K. Wallace, Stormfront, 2011


My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. ~Quentin Crisp


There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus. ~Author Unknown


Be a dad. Don’t be "Mom’s Assistant".... Be a man.... Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a four-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids.... It won’t take away your manhood, it will give it to you. ~Louis C.K.


Next Post date: July 4, 2016
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June 6, 2016

Happy Father's Day!!


My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You’re tearing up the grass." "We’re not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We’re raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew


He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland


A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. ~Author Unknown


There is wisdom in every man, in every father, in your father. And that's true whether you love him or despise him. ~Joe Kita, "Introduction," Wisdom of Our Fathers, 1999


Father! — to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth


Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other. ~Joseph Joubert


One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640


Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836


Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland


A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold


Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. ~Ruth E. Renkel


A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown


The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. ~Angelo Patri


My father, when he went, made my childhood a gift of a half a century. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


It is much easier to become a father than to be one. ~Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man, 1994


The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering-galleries, they are clearly heard at the end and by posterity. ~Jean Paul Richter


Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. ~Author Unknown


The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown


I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. ~Umberto Eco


I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much. ~Hedy Lamarr



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