W'Appen If?

("What Happens If" in Buddha Boy Speak)

Usually by now I have a pretty firm idea of what I am going to blog about. But here we are at 10 PM Sunday night, and that's with the time change in my favor, and I am still drawing a blank. No earth shattering news, no message for the masses, no family fables or funny anecdotes. How will I ever fill this space? I could cheat and just post a bunch of jokes like I sometimes do on New Year's, but I don't feel like cheating. I've no excuse as I have had free time .I pondered penning a semi whiny column about our boring Halloween with narry a single trick-or-treater, Princess in one neighborhood with her buddies, and Buddha Boy in another neighborhood with his buddies, two lonely pumpkins just barely carved in time. One lonely bored Computer boy at UCI and the other lonely bored Soccer Boy playing it safe at home. Lots of candy to go around and Netflicks there to save the day- night?

But that's not enough of a story, so I've decided to go with an idea I mused upon while reading Matha Beck's The Joy Diet. I am an inspirational book junkie. I just love 'em and can't ever get enough of them. Not that I need shoring up, they just make me feel more alive for some odd reason.

I look forward to her columns in the Oprah magazine each month. Most of her columns are so good that I end up clipping and scanning and sending them along to someone. Her advice is sooooooooooo goooooooood. She's a life coach. Her book lunged at me while browsing the UCI bookstore. Course they didn't have it at Borders and I had to order it from half.com, but boy was it worth the wait. So I am pillaging her book for my November blog.

I just finished the section about how we sometimes use one "problem" to mask another. For example, I often catch myself going down that boreing road of "If only I could just have some self control and eat less and exercise more. Then I could lose the weight, have more energy, and be admired and adored." But is it really about the weight? Would anyone even notice- or is this more of a thing that festers in my mind? Let's just say that I went to bed and woke up a perfect size 6. Would my life be that much different? Would it make me a better mom? Would I do better at work? Would my husband love me more? Would I have more energy? Would my friends admire me more? Would I admire me more- or would I simply focus on another supposed need, want, desire? Why does this consume such a large amount of my "selfish personal desire" allotment? Aren't there bigger and better things to hope for? A new BMW? A trip to Michoucan to witness the Monarch Migration? A self cleaning house? Winning the lotto? And if I really want it so badly, why aren't I doing something serious about it. Besides wishing and whining? Sure I try to eat right and exercise, but I counter balance that with pudding, chips and candy- all the while enjoying each morsel and sighing that I'll buckle down some other day when I don't have to pack lunches and prepare the cheesy noodles that Princess loves.

Hubby dwells on finances. He is constantly worried that he will lose his job and we'll lose our house and w'appen if?! I remind him that we are in pretty good fiscal shape as a direct result of his hard work. We live in a beautiful spacious home filled with all of the needed creature comforts. We're not upside down on our mortgage and if we had to cash out and rent a condo, we could survive for some time to come. But this fear has taken up residence in his cortex and will not vacate. What if he woke up one day to find that the mortgage was paid and the college bills were paid off and that he had job security with a guaranteed raise at just above inflation, and his wife began earning enough so that he could retire if he wanted to. In other words, he could completely let go of this worry. What thought processes would fill the void? Would he be able to relax and sleep better? Does he think he'd get more respect and admiration if he earned more money?

Are we both ultimately looking for admiration and respect from others? He links it to his earning potential and I to my appearance? How shallow is that? Is this all we have to offer one another? Of course not! But it's just more simplistic to focus on these singular items than it is to really take the time and figure out what it is that we really want out of life.

I'm quite happy with our finances, and I hope to God that he's OK with my appearance ( he doesn't ever say one way or the other but I don't think it's his number one worry.)

So what if we both pretended that we didn't have these worries and just woke up each day to give it our best shot? Would our lives change for the better? I'd like to think so. Not that our life together is bad in any way. I just think we could both work a bit on focusing on all of our bounty and special blessings, and a little less on worry, wishing and whining. And what better season to start?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat, Drink and Be Merry!

Spend a quiet moment and give thanks for a chance to experience all that life has to offer.

It's midnight now so I will post the Salmon- Sweet Potato- Pineapple in foil -oven recipe recipe later Yogi ;D

Michael Tolcher
Sooner Or Later lyrics

(I decided to listen to all of the music on my old iPod A to Z. This came on this morning and I loved it. Never heard it before. Have no idea how it got onto my iPod. Vince?)

[Verse 1]
Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
Try not to say anything weird
Save your questions without answers
'Til your old enough to know that things ain't as they appeared

Before you go out in the sun
Cover your skin and don't get burned
Beware the cancer, it might kill you when you're old
Be first in line, raise your hand
Remember everything you hear
And playing in the rain is worth catching cold

Sooner or later
We'll be lookin' back on everything
And we'll laugh about it like we knew what all was happening
And someday you might listen to what people have to say
Now you learn the hard way

[Verse 2]
We only want what's best for you
That's why we tell you what to do
And nevermind if nothing makes sense
'Cause it all works out in the end
You're just like us without a friend
But you can build a privacy fence (Yeah)

Sooner or later
We'll be lookin' back on everything
And we'll laugh about it like we knew what all was happening
And someday you might listen to what people have to say
Now you learn the hard way
Yeah now you learn the hard way

[Verse 3]
Some things you have to learn them all on your own
You can't rely on anybody else
Or the point of view of a source unknown
If it feels good and sounds nice
Then it's your choice, don't doubt yourself
Don't even think twice

Pull the hair back from your eyes
Let the people see your pretty face
You know they like it when you smile (Find a reason to smile)

Try not to focus on yourself
Share that love with someone else
Don't let the bitters bring you down (Down)
Don't let anything bring you down

[Repeat chorus till fades out]

November 2, 2009
Next Post date: December 7, 2009

From The Art of Worldly Wisdom The Classic Guide by Baltasar Gracian Translated by Martin Fischer

( this is a fantastic book that I believe should be required reading in about 4th grade! It was written by a Spanish Jesuit nearly 300 years ago.)

Passage #168

(they are all divine- but I especially loved this one!)

"Do not fall into the class of the colossal asses. Such are all the pompous, the presumptuous, the stubborn, the capricious, the too easily led, the freaks, the affected, the facetious, the faddists, the perverse, the sectarians of all kinds, and the whole generation of the intemperate, monsters, all of them, of impertinence. Every distortion of the spirit, is more deforming that on of the body, because it degrades a superior beauty. But who can bring order out of such general confusion? Where the captain of the soul is missing, no use to look for direction, and what was meant as the gentle hint of derision, is falsely imagined to be applause."



For the monk who
steps into the forest to meditate
for the rest of his days
for the hang glider who
takes off from the highest
majestic cliff
for the diver who makes
eye contact with an old whale
while the colorful school of fish
swim around him/her
for the little girl
who watches a bird soar
for the little boy who
splashes in a muddy puddle
for a mother who nurses her
babe in the wee hours of night
for the father and his working hands
for the one that loves
in the midst of coldness cruelty
and uncertainty
for the flowers that grow
the stars that glow
the moon that shines
the sun that gives
for all beings that create
for all hearts that give
and all hearts that receive
for the endless bosom
of compassion that is
capable of holding everything and
everyone with infinite love,
I give thanks.
Thanks for everything
that I know of
everything that I do not know of
and everything that
I'll never know but
my soul feels and my heart
has always known.
May the innocence
of a tiny flower
the awe of a high mountain
the beauty of the endless
colorful Fields
the generosity of all that gives
the deepness of the ocean
and all that is beautiful and
loving stay with me
forever and always.

Hydeh Aubon (11/27/08)

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