Woosh!!!!

W-Wives

O-Of

O-Obsessed

S-Sports

H-Husbands

This is a new support group I am purporting for wives who are married to husbands obsessed with sports in general. I want to make it official with matching monogrammed travel bags and T shirts- kind of like "Club Soccer" has. Only instead of travelling to dusty insect laden grass fields to watch parents misbehave when their child's team loses, WOOSH will be traveling to places like Paddington's Tea Room in Beverly Hills, The Huntington Library, Laemmles Theatres , The Mission Inn in Riverside for Brunch, Both Getty Museums, Little Tokyo, and LACMA. There will be no trophys at the end of the season, just contented moms and daughters with memorable experiences of a different sort than those resulting from outrunning a total stranger on a far away field and bad gas from nasty lukewarm field burgers.Okay, I know that was extreme, but I have had it with spending every spare second rushing from field to field only to sit and wait for the games to begin while my mind runs through all of the undone chores, and other responsibilities that are impossible to complete because I can't be home to do them. It's a prime example of hurry up- wait. It is not that I don't enjoy watching my little ones play, but four games every weekend and six practices on school nights after work and interfering with homework completion is just too much. Hubby, who insists that three of our four kids play, does not return home from work in order to assist with the driving to and from practices or help with homework, because he goes to ref class and plays the unmentionable sport with the guys after work. Yes, I said Ref class. That means that he has decided to become the best ref in the history of AYSO. He doesn't do things half way. If he is going to ref, he is going to take every referee class, even if it falls on our wedding anniverssary or Mother's Day.Many times he has to ref during our kids games, which leaves me to transport them to different locations without his assistance as he is unavailable. And then there is the constant yelling to the kids while they are playing regarding where they should be. Up! get back!!! Up! Go UUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP! Homygawd! Take a pill. Chew some gum, hon. I sit there like a good disrespectful wife should, and incessantly shush him. If we win, it's a good thing and we all go home happy. Well the winners do. I get to deal with the muddy cleats and multiplying water jugs cluttering up my kitchen. At least I am not allowed to do the laundry. I might give the kids the "wrong" black socks! So yeah, there are about a billion other things I'd rather do on any given day. It's not that I hate the game, but too much of anything taints the joy.It has nearly driven me insane. Okay, it has driven me insane. I think it's time for an intervention of some sort. It is nearly impossible to schedule a haircut or dentist appointment. I might be able to handle it, if I knew that there was an end in sight, but soccer boy has already begun conditioning for the High School soccer team, and hopes to join the tournament team after that which will play at out of town locations, some of which we need to pay for hotel arrangements which can really add up, and will carry us through until AYSO resumes in August! We do nothing else. No beach trips, no family movies, we can't even get to Disneyland and we have FREE passes! I would skip some of these tournaments, but then there is the guilt factor. The playing babies can't understand why I am not thrilled to be sitting on the sidlines cheering them on. I would be thrilled if I didn't have to return home and have to squeeze a week's worth of cleaning, shopping and homework into about four hours.I fantasize about politely disengaging myself from a good portion of these unwanted obligations, and instead choosing how I would like to spend some of my free time and money. But I know that I don't have the heuvos to ever do it. I'll do those things once the kiddies are grown. It's just that I'd like to do some more cultural things with them while they are young. Now and then I will insist that we do something non soccer related.Tournament teams for ten year lolds are terrible in my opinion. To everything there is a season turn turn turn. But not for soccer. It goes year round.

If only there were more time.......I can't wait until that big boy of mine begins driving! By the way, he designed the .gif!



LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.


Here we go!


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?


2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)


3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?


4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?


5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?


6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?  (Don't you dare get up to see!)


7. How many matches are in a standard pack?


8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?


9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?


10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?


11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?


12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?


13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?


14. Which way do fans rotate?


15 How many sides does a stop sign have?


16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?


17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?


18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?


19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?


20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?


21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?


22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?


23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone.  What 2 symbols bear no digits?


24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?


25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter clockwise or clockwise?



ANSWERS

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?   BOTTOM

2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)  50

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?     RIGHT

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label? BLUE, RED, WHITE, YELLOW, BLACK & GOLD

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them? 1, 0

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
RIGHT

7. How many matches are in a standard pack? 20

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe re! d or white?     RED

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? 88

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
  CLOCKWISE (NORTH OF THE EQUATOR)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
  TOWARDS BOTTOM RIGHT

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial? 12 (no #1)

13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons? LEFT

14. Which way do fans rotate? CLOCKWISE AS YOU LOOK AT IT

15 How many sides does a stop sign have? 8

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?     LEFT

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? 5

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil? 6

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?    BASHFUL  



20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package? 8

21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark? ACE OF SPADES

22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats? LEFT

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone.  What 2 symbols bear no digits?     * , #   !
24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?     3

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter clockwise or clockwise? COUNTER

November 6, 2006
Next Post date December 4, 2006

Quotes:

'Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.’
— St. Francis of Assisi

***

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you...Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.


-Unknown

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

***

When you get into a tight place
and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not
hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place
and time that the tide will turn.


-Harriet Beecher Stowe

***

When the tides of life are upon you,
And the current upsets your boat.
Don't waste those tears on what might have been,
Just lie on your back and float.

***

The spiritual perfection of man consists in his becoming an intelligent being--one who knows all that he is capable of learning.

- Maimonides

***

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.


-Hadia Bejar

***

Friendship is a promise of future loyalty, loyalty no matter what comes. Promises are the bricks of life and trust is the mortar.

-Stephen Carter, "The Emperor of Ocean Park" (submitted by rosaliekg)

***

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.

-R.E. Shay

***

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.

-Pamela Vault Starr

***

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

-Robin Williams

***

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

-Ben Williams

***

The pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, an almost fanatical love of justice, and the desire for personal independence, these are the features of the Jewish tradition which make me thank my lucky stars I belong to it.

- Albert Einstein

***

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.

-Ann Landers

***

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

-Storm Jameson

***

The purely righteous do not complain about evil, rather they add justice. They do not complain about heresy, rather they add faith. They do not complain about ignorance, rather they add wisdom.


- Rav Abraham Isaac Kook

***

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

-Anonymous

***

It is no longer good enough to cry peace, we must act peace, live peace, and live in peace.

-Shenandoah proverb (submitted by ta-ho-da)

***

The first step toward liberty is to miss liberty; the second, to seek it; the third, to find it.

- Leopold Zunz, German Jewish scholar

***

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

-Pearl Bailey

***

Pray for a good harvest, but keep on plowing.

-Nancy Otto

***

True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.

-John Hay

***

The non-doing of any evil,
the performance of what's skillful,
the cleansing of one's own mind:
this is the teaching
of the Awakened.

-Dhammapada, 13, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

***

We must alter our lives in order to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another.


-William Law

***

The fire of anger only burns the angry.

-Chinese Proverb (submitted by ccm05)

***

If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

-Justice Arthur Goldberg

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